My Wish
by nothingwrong-nothingright
Summary: Renesmee goes to spend spring break with her best friend Wesley. What happens when she sees her ex from three years before? And what's she hiding from him? Will she forgive him for the mistakes he made and be able to let him in? R&R. First fan fiction.
1. Chapter 1

**Well hello there dears. This is my very first fan fiction so don't judge too harshly please. I'm currently in my best friend's room trying to decide what to tell all y'all. Would love reviews. All of this belongs to Stephanie Meyer except for Wesley who is all my own. I know that one of the characters particularly isn't exactly the way he should be but please bear with me because I couldn't bear to take away that one aspect. It means too much to me. Thanks guys **

**Chapter 1**

**~Forgetting isn't possible ~**

"My gosh, this ride is taking forever," I groaned from the backseat.

"You sure complain a lot for someone who's getting her parents to drive her halfway to the beach to meet her best guy friend on spring break. We can always turn around, Bella," he told my mom with an evil smile on his face.

I laughed. "No way. I'll shut up now.'

I smiled cockily knowing there was no way they would ever turn around. I was spoiled beyond belief. (You just had to meet my family.) Besides, they trusted Wesley more than any girl in my life. I smiled as I saw the sign that announced my arrival into the insignificant small town that I would meet him in.

"Which store are we meeting him at?" my mother asked my father.

"Just keep driving, love. We'll be there soon enough."

Their relationship touched my heart in ways that I knew no guy would ever. I was cynical, which is partly why Wesley and I are so close, and didn't see how I would ever find anyone. I believed in love, honestly. How could anyone who lived with or even just looked at my parents not believe that love exists? The way my father stared at my mother… Well it was like a blind man seeing the light for the first time. After eighteen years of marriage they were still so perfectly in love that sometimes it was too much for my broken heart. Because no one looked at me like that. Not anymore.

I sighed sadly as my father announced our arrival. As we pulled in my father decided to go all parental. "Now, listen, I know that you are going to have a good time but getting arrested is not going to look good. It's your senior year and you should be allowed a little fun but just stick close to Wesley alright?" He finished and sent me a menacing glare.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because Wesley is such a good influence on me," I said as sarcastically as I could manage.

My dad opened his mouth, probably to tell me off or threaten me with turning around again, but my mother cut him off. "Edward, darling, leave the girl alone. She'll be fine." She grabbed his hand rubbing circles and he instantly seemed to relax. I flinched slightly as a pang went through my heart. I use to have someone like that. But that was before.

My thoughts were interuppted as we parked next to a black 2009 mustang. I smiled and grabbed my stuff wanting to run straight to Wesley's arms. He seemed to know my wants and thoughts before I did. I stepped out of the car and was instantly envoloped in a bear hug. I stepped out of his arms smiling widely as his prescence filled me up. Wesley was gorgeous with perfectly straight reddish brown hair. The kind that when he swished it to the side all the girls followed him religiously and the guys rolled their eyes fuming with jealousy. He had perfect brown eyes which seemed to outshine my own. I was sure that any girl could stare into those for hours. His red hair was probably the reasoning behind his pale skin. He was almost as pale as my mother and father and that was a challenge. I had inherited their pale skin as well, a shade lighter than Wesley, and didn't seem to pull it off the way the three of them did. He stood six foot two, towering over my small five foot two petite frame, and looked amazing without his shirt on. I would know. I smiled secretly as I remembered the last time we had hung out with each other. Of course, our little secrets happened a lot less now that he lived an hour away in my own hometown.

"Ness!" he exclaimed in order to get my attention.

"Yes?" I said smiling sweetly.

"What took you so long?" he said this so sad that anyone would have thought I had stolen his favorite puppy.

"I told you I had to win the softball tournament before I could come. You never listen to a word I say."

We didn't get a chance to say much after that because my parents charged him demanding him to walk a straight line. He just smirked carelessly and began to walk an immensly crooked line. I chuckled out loud. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't pay attention to the guy getting out of the passenger seat who came to stand beside me. I felt his penetrating gaze bore into me so I turned to see what friend Wesley had with him this time. As I met his perfect light blue eyes I froze. My own personal nightmare. And I would have to be in the car with him.

"Hello Renesmee."

I nodded terrified. "Jacob."

**Read and Review please.**

**More chapters will follow.**

**Love, Tif. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Well guys I'm in bible lit class again and we aren't doing anything so I figured I would write. Thanks for the reviews (Officials3xcs3xc and Miss Go) I really appreciate it. I know that all you authors feel the same way when you get a review so please don't be shy. Try not to be too harsh though. I'd like to clear up that yes this is an AH fan fiction. (For now anyways. Werewolves may come into play later.) And I know that Jacob does not really have blue eyes but please bear with me. It was the only aspect that I changed and it was because of a personal meaning to me. Remember I do not own anything except Wesley. Everything else is Stephanie Meyer. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy Chapter Two.**

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**Chapter 2**

**~Perfection~**

I stared solemnly out the window in the front seat. I had no idea how Jacob had managed to fit himself in the backseat (he was even taller than Wesley and a lot more muscled) but I really wish he hadn't. First of all, my knee was hurting from sliding into home earlier today and I needed to lay it out straight. Second of all, it was harder to stare without being caught if you had to turn all the way around to do it. I wanted, no needed, to memorize his every aspect. It had been three years since the last time I had seen him and I was sure my memory had not done him justice. I would have turned around but I was scared to meet his curious gaze, afraid of what it would do to me. Back then, it had caused me to go weak at the knees and have to catch my breath. Now just thinking of how close he was tore me. A part of me wanted to throw myself at him and demand to know why he had left. The other part of me wanted to jump out of the car and get as far away from him as I possibly could. I hated that I hadn't explained every part of my past to Wesley, especially the part about being in love with the guy in the backseat.

Up until this point, Wesley had seemed oblivious to my mood which had allowed me the time to think peacefully and ignore the gorgeous hunk behind me. He was singing along loudly, off-key might I add, to The Climb by Miley Cyrus. Suddenly, he turned the music down and put his focus on the look on my face.

"What's wrong, Ness?" he asked concerned.

I braced myself to lie to the both of them, a feat I had never been good at. "Nothing, really. I'm just so tired. I've been playing softball all day, remember? I'm a little worn out." I put my fingers to my temples rubbing them and closed my eyes wearily. I mentally thanked Aunt Alice for being so dramatic.

"Please, we've been partying all night and day so you can't be any more worn out that we are. It's your knee, isn't it? Man, babe, I should have thought about that. Your parents told me to keep an eye out for you if it kept hurting."

"No, it's okay. My knee feels fine. It doesn't even hurt at all anymore." I lied.

He saw straight through me this time. "You're so stubborn," he mumbled annoyed.

"And you aren't?" I answered back.

He just flashed me an innocent smile. Oh, no. What's he up to?

"Jake?" he called.

Jake leaned up towards the front of the car much too close to me.

"What you need?" Jake asked.

"Can you let Nessie get in the back so she can lay her knee out across the seat?"

I had to smile at the fact that Wesley was taking care of me. He always did. He really was a wonderful best friend even if he was a pain in the ass most of the time.

Of course, Jake had to open his mouth and ruin my perfect moment. "Come on, Renesmee. You can just crawl in the back with me and lay your legs in my lap so we don't have to stop anywhere to let me in the front." He said this all very carefully but with his most Jacob like smile as if he remembered my temper. Of course, that only made me even angrier. How can he even attempt to pretend to know me now? He hadn't even called in the last three years. He had no idea what I had been through. And he thought he was just going to bounce back in my life and it would all be fine. Ha! There was no way in hell. It would have to freeze over. No way, no how.

Wesley noticed my pause and chose to put his two cents in. "Well there you go, Ness. Get in the back. Thanks, Jake." Wesley smiled only increasing my anger. What was wrong with the pair of them? Were they in this together?

I held my chin up and turned towards the window again demonstrating my stubbornness. "You know what? I'm fine. I don't need to get in the back. Actually, I want to stay right here," I snapped coldly.

Wesley looked at me in frustration. "What is your problem?"

I knew my answer. Him. He was my problem. I also knew there was no way I was actually going to say it. That would mean admitting that it hurt when he left. It would mean admitting that I didn't move on these three years. That the love I felt for Wesley paled in comparison to the guy in the backseat. It would mean he had won.

I realized that sitting here pouting in the front seat would not do any good if I was trying to pretend like him being here didn't matter to me. I would have to get in the back and act as if I didn't notice how close his body was to me. For a second, I wasn't sure I could do it but then my stubbornness kicked in again. What was I thinking letting some guy affect me like this? If I wanted to sit in the back then I would sit in the back.

Wesley was still waiting not so patiently for my answer to his previous question. I sighed heavily. "I'm just being stubborn. I'll get in the back. Thanks, Wes. I didn't mean to get ill with you."

He smiled happily at my apology as I crawled over the seat to the back. "It's okay. You always get ill when someone tries to take care of you."

Well that was true alright. And at least it would be easier to stare in the back seat. As soon as I had my legs in his lap and was faced towards him in the seat Jake smiled tentatively at me. What was he so worried about? It wasn't like it mattered how I felt. If it did then he never would have left.

"So how have you been Renesmee?" I noticed he used my full name every time he spoke to me. What was up with that? I actually think he was the one he started calling me Nessie (much to the irritation of my parents). I also didn't appreciate the question he asked. What was I supposed to say? Oh, well Jake I've been happy go lucky since you left. In fact, life has been quite wonderful. I guess I could but it would be a downright lie.

"Fine," I mumbled. This answer would just have to do. He stared down at me looking over my small body. Didn't he know it was rude to stare? (Hypocritical, I know) I tried to act as indifferent as he seemed but my mother's genes got in the way as I flushed a deep red. He smiled to himself as if pleased with that reaction. I didn't miss how wonderful he looked in just his shorts and no shirt, of course. It was freezing outside but he didn't seem to mind.

Wesley turned the car sharply and I slid forward only to be caught by his very warm arms. I almost sighed with delight as he touched me but pushed him away as I remembered that I wasn't what he wanted. He had told me that much.

I decided that if he could ask questions I was allowed too. "What have you been doing?" I asked slyly. I wondered if he heard the accusations behind that question. What had he been doing that caused him to just up and forget about me?

He looked away and answered sadly, "I've been busy with school and working. I hang out with my friends every now and then." I hated this. The answer held no information. It was a statement you would give a stranger. We had been so much more than that.

I turned my head and looked away trying to forget the electricity that came from his arms grazing my skin and the perfection I saw in his blue eyes and russet skin. It didn't matter anymore. I was nothing to him, never had been.

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**Well guys, there it is. I won't be able to update this quick again because I'm sure I'll actually start doing stuff in my classes again. R&R. Reviews make my day better. Enjoy!**

**Love, Tif.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Bible class again. Yes I know that sounds horrible but we really haven't had any work in there. I figured I would update because I won't be able to for a bit. Prom is Thursday so I will be very busy with all the girly stuff before and all the fun stuff afterwards. Hello after parties! Anyways I decided if you don't like the eyes then you don't have to read. That's the simple solution. For all you people who still like my story anyways here is the third chapter. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 3**

**~Promises~**

We stopped at a camping ground on our way to the beach. I sat down in the camper staring towards the back where Wesley and Jake had disappeared into. We had stopped for some unknown reason, unknown to me anyways, to talk to of all of their friends…My friends I guess. These were the people I had grown up with, people who had known me before the move. Before everything had changed. Before when Jake had loved me… I was interrupted from my silent thoughts every now and then by some drunken person who would make me giggle loudly. The conversation really was quite hilarious.

"Where are they going?" Embry slurred out watching a crowd of people leave.

"The scrip," Quil managed to mumble so drunk he couldn't pronounce the word following them out the door.

"The strip? Why didn't they invite me?" Embry asked as he rolled over on the floor to face me.

I laughed and decided to volunteer the information no one else was nice enough to give him. "They did invite you, Embry. You are just too drunk to get up off the floor so they left." I told him truthfully trying to hold a straight face.

"Nessie!" he screamed. "When did you get here?" he asked excitedly.

I laughed happily. This really was too funny. My happiness was shattered, however, as an all too familiar voice answered him.

"She's been here for about twenty minutes and you've already said hey to her like ten times. She's been laughing at you the whole time rolling around on the floor like an idiot. You really don't hold your liquor well, you know?" Jake told him laughing easily, comfortable as ever, even with me here. It was hard to watch. This was the Jake I knew. When we had dated, he had been my own personal sun. Happiness seemed to radiate from him. It was sad to know that he was still the same person, he just didn't want me. I followed his gaze to Embry who hadn't answered because he was passed out on the floor.

Jake stared intensely at me and broke the awkward silence. The tension in the room between us didn't decrease though. "Would you sit down? I know you have to be hurting pretty bad."

Oh, right. Act like you care now. "I'm fine." I answered reflexively but sat down anyways. If I didn't, Wesley would just come in here and get on to me later. "How much longer will be here?" I inquired looking anywhere but those perfect eyes of his.

"It shouldn't be too much longer. Wesley is just taking care of some stuff."

I sighed sadly, missing Wesley so much. I needed his comforting presence. "Okay." I didn't want to be around all these people from my past. It was so hard to remember the girl I use to be. It made me think of happier days, of the way it used to be with Jake. Just then, Wesley came out the door. I breathed out in relief, instantly feeling better. Jake looked away seeming annoyed for some reason.

"Jake, they need you in the back again for a minute. I'm going to take Ness and put my stuff in the trunk so we don't have to come back here in the morning," he said pointedly looking at me. I knew him well enough to know this was an excuse to talk to me alone. I wondered what it was that was so important he was making an excuse to get me outside.

Jake nodded solemnly and didn't question what ever was going on. Wesley helped me out the door. We made it to the trunk, put his stuff in, and he turned to face me.

"Nessie, I need you to promise me something," he said urgently with a look of utter seriousness on his face. I looked up at him perplexed. What was going on? Why was he so worried? I put my hand to his cheek and cupped his face. He smiled warmly and wrapped his arms around my small waist. I suddenly wondered if my presence was as comforting to him as his was to me.

"Anything." I vowed.

"Don't get hurt, babe. Be careful around him. Promise me you won't do anything stupid," he said gravely. I pulled back from his embrace like he had hit me. I was shocked. He didn't know anything about Jake and me. I had never mentioned my past and he had known better than to ask. He couldn't have heard anything from Jake because I was sure Jake didn't even remember our life together.

"What are you talking about?" I managed to choke out.

He shook his head in disappointment the same way he would if I made a C on a test at school, "Ness, I don't need to know what happened between y'all to know that there's some kind of history there. I've only seen you look at one other person like that," he announced bitterly.

I knew exactly who he was talking about. I looked away, cursing him in my head. He knew me all to well. "I don't look at him in any kind of way," I tried to sound indifferent but the look on his face told me I was failing.

He rolled his eyes at me and took my small hands in his. "Just please promise me."

I nodded. It was important to him. "I promise."

He smiled my favorite Cheshire **(Hope I spelled that right)** cat grin. "Stay out here okay. I'm going to go back in the house for a minute. Then we will be on our way." He kissed my cheek and I smiled, glad to have appeased him.

He took off for the camper and I made my way to the passenger seat to open the door. "Damn," I mumbled out loud. He had locked the door. Oh, well. I made my way back to the trunk and leaned on the mustang. The camper door opened but it wasn't Wesley who stepped out.

It was Jake.

"Where's Wesley?" I asked suddenly strangely nervous. Jake took a huge step closer to me and I noticed how very alone we were.

"Still inside. One of the guys stopped him on the way out. They had to talk to him," he answered. Another step closer to me. A brief part of me wondered what Wesley and Jake were involved in. The other part was a little more worried why Jake was stepping so close.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled twirling my hair nervously. He stepped once more and was now close enough to touch. What the hell? I would have been extremely irritated if I wasn't concentrating on how perfect his body was. It was then that I made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. I was lost instantly and I forgot I was supposed to be ignoring him. My eyes, of their own accord, flickered down to his lips. And that was it. Suddenly, his hands were on my shoulders pulling me closer. His lips touched mine and I couldn't think of a reason why this was wrong. I couldn't remember why I was pretending I didn't love him much less why we were fighting. His hands began to roam. He lifted me up from the ground and sat me down on the car still kissing me. Our lips continued to move together in very familiar ways. Neither one of us pulled away to get air, though I was sure my supply was becoming very limited. I tried to pull him closer, because for some reason even though my legs were wrapped around him, I still couldn't seem to get close enough. It was nothing like Wesley's comforting embrace. Every time Jake's hands ran over me in a different direction I felt a surge of electricity pulse through me. I would never get enough of this…So how was I supposed to stop?

That question was answered as the camper door opened. "JAKE!" Wesley roared. Oh, shit. What did I just promise him?

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**Hope you liked it. Reviews make my day people!!!**

**Love, Tif.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey people. Well sorry this took so long but prom was AMAZING. Let's just say that my own personal Wesley took me and it was a perfect evening. I hope everyone had a lovely Easter. Well to the point I do not own Twilight or anything except my plot and Wesley. This chapter is kind of long. A bit of a filler. But read it and enjoy. Reviews would be nice. If you like or even if you hate I love to hear your opinions so please guys I'm begging. Well here it is. Hope you like. **

**Chapter 4**

**~Decisions and Mistakes~**

I jumped guiltily away from Jake. I couldn't even bring myself to look up at Wesley to gauge his anger, so I settled for staring at the ground. My stupid blush was betraying me again and I knew there was no way I was going to gain my composure to get this straight. Thankfully for me, (yeah right) Jake seemed to be just fine.

"Hey, man. What you need?" Jake asked casually. I almost groaned out loud. Wesley had just yelled at this idiot and "Hey, man" is the best he can come up with? I chanced a quick peek up at Jake's face and let out the groan I'd been holding in. Jacob was staring straight ahead, at Wesley I supposed, smiling his normal, carefree smile. Why, oh why, did I have to kiss someone this cocky?

"We're leaving," Wesley announced coldly.

"Awesome," Jacob replied easily. I heard both of them move towards the car but the coward in me wondered whether getting in to that car with Wesley mad at me was really a good idea. I had way too much of my mother in me. "Are you coming, Ness?" Jake asked impatiently. I briefly fantasized about taking a softball bat to the side of his head. I stood still contemplating what to do. I didn't want to have to deal with the both of them after that kiss. Of course, I should have known Wesley wouldn't let me just run away.

"Get in the car, please," Wesley said his tone now slightly softer now that he was talking to me.

I nodded at the ground.

The car ride over to the hotel room was very uncomfortable. I could almost see the hostility rolling off of Wesley. I spent the time staring out the window. Jake, however, seemed oblivious to the awkwardness. He smiled happily, singing along with the radio. I wanted to hit him, but I was sure it would hurt my hand a lot more than it would his face.

Suddenly, Wesley reached forward and turned down the volume on the radio. "Jake, remember, we are staying at your ex-girlfriend's hotel room with her friends. Yours too, I guess."

Jake looked over still smiling. "I know.'

Wesley turned to look at him meaningfully. "So keep your hands to yourself in front of her so we don't get kicked out. Also, maybe you should keep your eyes to yourself too," Wesley said angrily.

Jake seemed to growl a little bit. "I know. I'm not going to do anything to bother Leah. She's crazy enough. But has it ever occurred to you that maybe Nessie can make up her own mind? She doesn't need a babysitter. She's a big girl." Amazingly, that smile was still on his face.

"I know she can but that doesn't mean she doesn't make mistakes every now and then. She could pick the wrong guy, you know?" Wesley yelled and I was sure he was insinuating that Jake was that wrong guy.

"You would know all about that wouldn't you? Didn't she date you?" Jake yelled back, the smile finally wiped off his face completely.

As much as it bothered me that Wesley was acting like I couldn't make my own decisions, there was no way that I was going to let Jake get away with making that comment about Wesley.

"Hey guy, guess what?" I asked in mock surprise. "_She's_ sitting right back here." I didn't raise my voice a bit. I just stated this as coldly as I could manage. The result was instantaneous though. Both of them turned towards the back of the mustang as if they had only just realized I was still here. Even Jake managed to look a little bit ashamed of his self. I took this time to voice my opinions.

"Wesley, how dare you act like I can't make my own decisions about my life? I'm pretty sure you might have been the one to teach me how to stand up for myself but that doesn't mean that I have to take crap from you! Why don't you get a life instead of trying to live mine for me? You aren't my dad so don't act like I have to listen to everything you say."

Wesley looked like I had slapped him and Jake was smiling again looking relived that I had chosen Wesley to snap at. But, I wasn't done and I really wanted to wipe that smile off his face.

"Hey, Jake," I said angrily narrowing my eyes at him.

The smiled washed right off his face and I felt a rush of satisfaction. "Yes?" he said nervously.

"Don't ever talk to Wesley like that again, especially about things you know nothing about. I wouldn't make any comments about anyone being the wrong guy for me because last time I checked the only time I made a mistake was when I dated you." I said turning away towards the window again. I knew what I had said had hurt the both of them but at this moment I really didn't care.

When we finally parked at the hotel, none of us were speaking to each other. I wasn't worried about it though, because as far as I was concerned they were the ones in the wrong. They were both acting like spoiled kids fight over some shiny toy. I officially was tired of it. I was a person, not some toy and Jake was right. I could make my own decisions.

I knew I didn't really mean what I had said to either of them. Wesley was just trying to look out for me, like always. And Jake had never been a mistake. Even now I couldn't say that. Maybe he thought so, but as far as I was concerned our relationship had been the best thing that ever happened to me, with the exception of Wesley becoming my best friend.

I shook out of my thoughts as I noticed that we were in front of the hotel room and Jake was knocking on the door. The girl who answered the door was gorgeous and I immediately felt a little self conscious of my messy curls.

"This is Leah," Jake announced pointing at the pretty girl. I couldn't help but feel a little happy as I noticed how he said her name. Like she was something revolting. "Leah, this is Nessie."

Leah's pretty face was narrowed in disgust as she stared at me sizing the competition. "Oh, yea. I remember you telling me about her," she answered sounding extremely bored and very confident. The sentence caught my attention, however. Why were they talking about me? I looked over him sizing her up as well. I could definitely see why Jake had dated her. Her black hair hung short, straight, and perfect. Her skin touched matched Jake's so well that I knew he had to of met her at the reservation. She was definitely Native American. She also had a perfect figure that looked like it belonged on a swimsuit magazine. I wrinkled up my face in disgust as well. So, she was one of those girls. I smiled cockily. This was going to be fun.

"Nice to meet you," I said sweetly giving her my fakest smile. She looked at me oddly and then seemed to realize the game I was playing.

She then smiled just as fake and gestured towards the other people in the room. "This is Emily, Kim, and Claire."

"Hi," I told the other girls nice as could be. I didn't have any problems with them. They didn't seem to hate me as much as Leah.

I directed my attention back towards the bitch in the room. She smiled evilly. "Do you drink, Nessie?" Leah asked mockingly.

"Yea, I do," I answered defensively.

"Hmm. You look more like the girl next door type. I wouldn't expect anything reckless from you," she mocked barely disguising the insult.

"Well, why don't I make everyone drinks?" Wesley interrupted trying as always to save me.

As soon as everyone had their drinks we all sat down listening to music and watching Little Miss Slut entertain us. I looked over at Wesley after a while and rolled my eyes. He seemed to get the hint immediately. Thank goodness for my best friend.

He stood up. "Hey, I think I'm going to walk down to the car. I need to look for something," he told everyone.

I jumped up as well making it seem as though neither one of us had planned this. "I'll go down with you so you don't have to walk alone. I wouldn't want you to get kidnapped by one of these crazy spring breakers," I told him as I followed him out the door.

Jake, who had been listening to Leah, looked up at me. He seemed annoyed that I was leaving with Wes but it really wasn't any of his business so I decided not to pay him any attention.

When we got in the elevator, I sighed leaning back against the wall. Wesley looked a little nervous but only somewhat. He was pretty much as cocky as Jake and he knew I would forgive him no matter what he did. I did break a promise to him so I guess it was time to apologize.

"I'm…" I began but he interrupted me.

"Don't worry bout it. I can't keep you from kissing people. You're right. You make your own decisions," he said holding his arms out for me.

I settled myself against him holding him tight. This was normal. I needed this. Tonight was very stressful and I just wanted my best friend.

"I can't deal with him," I mumbled.

"Yea, you can. Just don't let Leah get to you and you will be fine," he answered kissing my forehead. The door to the elevator opened and we walked towards the car.

"I'm scared, Wes," I admitted. It sounded wrong coming from my lips. It had been a long time since I had wanted to run from anything. Wesley had taught me soon after life had gone downhill that I could pretty much handle anything. This was the first time it seemed like to much again.

He looked down at me not looking the least bit surprised. "I know you are. I am too. I worry about you. You can handle anything though. If I didn't think you could, we would run away right now. I promise. And I'll be right here if you need me."

I smiled glad to know that he would be beside me if anything went wrong. So what if Jake had walked out on me what I needed him most? So what if he broke my heart in a million pieces? So what if everyday without him had been pure hell? I still had Wes and I knew I always would.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. As we were walking, I thought I heard him mumble something under his breath. But maybe the alcohol was getting to me already. Because the words he mumbled sounded suspiciously like "I love you."

** I wanted to have a little more Wesley/Nessie interaction as he is who got her through the last three years. Sorry if she seems a little ill with Jake and Wesley but the real men in my life are making me a little mad. And apparently best guy friends do have the right to intervene in relationships. (Or that's what he says) Ughhh. Well enough about me. Hope you enjoyed it. Review please. **

** Love, Tif. **


	5. AN Please Read

**Okay guys I need your opinions. Review and let me know if y'all would like to have the next chapter in Nessie's or Jacob's point of view. The sooner the reviews, the sooner I can start the chapter. Thanks for everything so far. Hope y'all are enjoying the story. **


	6. Chapter 5

**Well guys. I know this took a little longer than usual but I wanted to take some time on this one and make it a little longer for y'all. I hope that you enjoy it because I really did work hard on it. My best friend proofread it for me and she finally thinks it is ready. I also have a bit of a surprise for y'all and some of you might figure it out from this chapter. Well I should shut up now. Enjoy. **

**Chapter 2**

**~I must be an idiot~**

I sat there trying to listen to Leah but it just wasn't working. There wasn't a part of my mind that wasn't occupied with those gorgeous locks of bronze curls, that porcelain like skin, and those chocolate brown eyes. Renesmee. Even in my thoughts, I spoke the name with such a level of adoration that I knew I still loved her. Then again, how could I ever doubt that?

She hadn't changed much, still just as stubborn and perfect as always. When Wesley said we were picking up a girl I hadn't thought of it much. Wesley always had girls trailing along after him. He had just told me it was one of his best friends, more important than any other girl in his life. She had been there for him. I now wondered just exactly how much she meant to him. And more importantly, just how much he meant to her. I saw when Wesley was around she instantly relaxed and how she gravitated towards him. I saw how she comforted him, how she knew him like she had once known me. They had a past, and maybe (thought I hated to admit it) a future. But she had kissed me…That had to mean something, right? Except, I couldn't help but remember the way she had looked at me when we had picked her up.

_I stepped out of the car to see the girl of my dreams once again. My memories were all seemed like dreams, and to see the girl who once meant so much to me, I wondered if I was dreaming again. Except, in the dreams, she smiled when she saw me. _

_ She turned towards me as if in slow motion and instantly shock replaced her perfect smile. She looked terrified and I suddenly longer for the olden days. The times when I could take her in my arms and comfort her, the times when she loved me. I wished I could tell her I had to leave, that it was best, but even I couldn't convince myself of that anymore. _

_ I called her name, not using her nickname, and met her eyes full on for the first time. Instantly, everything came back to me. I remembered that it wasn't the gravity that was holding me to the ground. It was the girl in front of me. I didn't want to look away or remember how much she hated me. I just wanted to stare into the eyes of the girl I loved. Sadly, her voice broke the spell. The terror in her words as she spoke my name was evident. I tried to act carefree and normal like always. _

_ The terror in her eyes quickly turned into anger. _

I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. Walking away now seemed the dumbest decision of my life. No wonder I couldn't bring myself to call her by the nickname I had given her. I didn't deserve to talk to her like she was an old friend. I hadn't given her anything but a goodbye in the last three years. Kissing her a little while ago had brought back so many memories. Memories, I had tried to push away. She didn't pull away from me then though. It didn't seem like she hated me. In fact, she was actually pulling me closer. I wondered if that meant she still loved me. I use to think that maybe one day we would see each other again and she would run to my arms and kiss me, and then everything would be better. Apparently, kissing hadn't made anything better. If anything, she was even more mad at me than before, if that was even possible.

I hated that she made me feel like some lovesick teenager (it was so much stronger than that) who was determined to get the girl from his best friend. I hated the power that she held over me but at the same time I couldn't help but be drawn to it. I thought that I was staying away from her these last three years for her benefit, to help her get over me, but who was I kidding? I knew the truth. I had stayed away because that girl had more control over me than anyone in my life. She was the center of my universe. She was the gravity that held me to the ground.

"Jake. JAKE. Why aren't you listening to me?" Leah pouted sticking out her lower lip trying to look attractive.

"Oh, my bad. I'm really out of it today. What were you saying?" I asked her smiling my normal carefree grin trying to cover up my thoughts.

She narrowed her eyes. Well, damn. She wasn't going to let it go that easy. "Want to walk with me to the back for a minute?" she asked sweetly.

I thought about telling her not really but decided against it. "Sure, sure."

Once we were in the back, she turned on me with anger filled eyes. "What's the matter with you?" she asked fiercely.

I stood my ground. "Nothing, Leah. I'm just not in the mood for your bullshit today," I told her indifferently.

"Jacob, baby, you can't tell me that you don't want me anymore," she said in that cold voice of hers.

"I already told you that," I said exasperated. "I just want to be friends. Why can't you understand that?"

"Does this have anything to do with that Nessie girl?" she asked picking out the only person who could have such an effect on me. Leah certainly couldn't.

"No, it doesn't. I haven't even talked to her in three years. She has nothing to do with how I feel about you, anyways. I just don't love you," I told her trying once again to explain to her.

It was like talking to a brick wall. "If you just give it another chance, Jake, you could love me," she begged. That was one of the many things I loved about Renesmee. She never pleaded. Begging for someone's love? She sure hadn't when I told her I didn't want her. She'd rather dance naked in public. I smiled as that imaged played in my mind.

Leah smiled back, probably thinking I was reconsidering us. "Leah, I don't love you," I stated as bluntly as possible. Maybe if I said it real slow, she would get the hint. "I can't love you," I finished.

As I said that I heard the front door open and my head turned automatically as if the strings were calling to me. I could feel her presence pulling me in.

Leah's voice broke in, destroying the connection. "Why don't you just go follow her around like the puppy dog you are?" Leah asked coldly, her question full of implications. "She wouldn't want you if she knew the truth."

I sighed. The truth. It was something that even sometimes I couldn't face. There were things I hadn't told Renesmee, things I should have told her. Like my real reason for leaving, my reason for telling her she meant nothing to me. I had been cold, callous, in loving her three years ago. Now not only did I have those lies to worry about, I had my newest secret, one I was sure she wouldn't be able to understand. She didn't deserve the problems that came with loving me, but she definitely didn't deserve the lies I had told her either. I hated myself for that last day with her.

_She looked up smiling at me with that perfectly crooked grin she had inherited from her father. Her gorgeous bronze curls framed her beautiful face and I found myself caught up in the depths of her chocolate brown stare. It was full of love, of absolute trust. I hated what I was about to do next, because if there was one thing I was sure of, it was that she would never look at me like that again. _

_ "Nessie." I called her name hesitantly. Her eyes widened in worry and confusion. _

_ "What's wrong?" she chimed worriedly. I let myself drown in her comforting gaze, in the worry she felt for me. I knew that all too soon she wouldn't feel any pity for me. _

_ "We need to talk," I told her seriously avoiding her eye, knowing what I would see there in a minute. _

_ "Would you like me to do it for you?" she asked coldly, already knowing where this was going. I flinched, but I wasn't surprised. If there was anyone in the world who knew me, it was her. _

_ "Ness, it's better this way," I began. She laughed without humor. The sound was wrong. I looked up and saw a lone tear rolling down her beautiful rose colored cheek. It broke my heart. I had to keep telling myself she wasn't what I wanted, she wasn't what I needed. This would never work. _

_ She didn't look away or start sobbing. She just continued to stare at me with those perfect brown eyes. I wondered why she didn't break into pieces. Her voice cut into my thoughts, "Why?"_

_ "The distance thing isn't working. I can't keep getting your parents to drive me and you an hour to see each other. We're fighting because of it. It's just too much to keep on like this," I lied. _

_ She rolled those beautiful eyes. "Cut the crap, Jake."_

_ I should have known she wouldn't believe me. I was her best friend. She knew me. I braced myself to tell her the sentence that I hoped would someday be true. _

_ "I don't love you," I said forcefully._

_ She blinked and I realized she was pushing back tears. "You can't mean that," she said, but her voice was losing all its strength. I wanted to scream at her for doubting my love, but the truth was if I loved her so much, I wouldn't be walking away in the first place. She deserved better. _

_ She was still waiting on my reply with her head held high. Her stubbornness would be a problem. I was going to have to break her heart because of it. _

_ "Nessie, I don't want you," I started. The words sounded all wrong but I forced myself to continue. "We've changed. The last two years was a mistake. I thought I was in love with you, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for leading you on like this," I told her watching the hurt play across her face. _

_ She stood up and from the look on her face I could tell that she was ready to leave. All she wanted now was to put the reservation, the memories, and of course me, as far behind her as she possibly could. "Then, this is goodbye," she said. I was surprised to hear her voice sound so formal, so polite. Like I was nothing more than some stranger. _

_ "I guess so," I told her wishing I could mimic her detached tone. _

_ Suddenly, her mask vanished and she was the girl I knew, the girl I loved. She looked anything but unconcerned as she told me "Bye, Jake. I'll keep in touch. I love you." Sincerity rang through her musical voice. I was surprised that she would still admit this to me, thinking I didn't want her anymore. _

_ I then realized she was counting on that phone, on the hope we would speak again. I couldn't do that. I had to put her behind me. If I didn't then I knew I would never be able to stay away from her. She would always have that pull over me, if I didn't quit her now. I wouldn't ever be able to be just her friend, either. _

_ "Don't call me, okay. I'll call you when I'm ready," I said. _

_ Anger flashed in her eyes for the first time and I thought she was going to call me on my lie. I waited for the Nessie I knew. I almost wished for the anger, but she turned away. I waited until she got in the car with her parents before I let the realization hit me. I had just forced my whole world to walk away. _

The scene that had seemed to take so long to happen played out in my head in just a matter of seconds. I had memorized those last moments with her. I deserved the pain that came from them. Leah was still standing there watching me with a knowing look.

"She doesn't want me now, anyways," I told her finishing up our conversation. I walked around her and left her standing with that same stupid expression on her face. She was so sure Renesmee wouldn't be able to accept me, as was I.

I walked to the front of the hotel room and saw her standing extremely close to Wesley. I tried to ignore the jealous waves that ran through me causing my anger to rise. I knew better than to let my anger get out of control. What was I doing?

I didn't look at anybody or stop to stare at Renesmee like I wanted to. I walked straight out the door heading for the beach. My own escape.

I sat down on the beach trying to get control over my emotions. It had been so long since anyone had been able to get to me this way. I had no idea what to do, how to talk to her, how to act around her. I wanted her back so much. I needed her in my arms again for everything to be right. The unexplainable pull was telling me that much. But how was I supposed to expect her to just forgive me? After everything I had done to her, I was surprised she had even spoken to me when we picked her up. I stared at the crashing waves trying to make sense of my situation. Why had I left her in the first place? How could I honestly think she wouldn't have understood? She was the only person in the world who completely knew me and accepted me. Light footsteps in the sand behind me (and that weird force) let me know Renesmee was behind me.

"Hi," she said staring out at the ocean just like she had at the rez. She took a seat beside me on the sand.

"Where's Wesley?" I asked secretly hoping he was nowhere near.

Still with her eyes on the sea, she answered me in her musical voice, "I ditched him." I tried not to feel too happy about that. She continued on, "He tried to follow me but I told him to chill. It's not like anyone is going to mess with me. You're way too big."

I laughed sadly knowing I had probably grown a lot over the years. "You still mad at me?"

She turned and met my eyes. In her stare, I found everything I had been looking for these past three years. Nobody had been able to replace her and nobody ever would. I must have been an idiot to walk away and now I was paying the price. She finally answered me. "Yes," she whispered turning back to the ocean.

I knew she wasn't just talking about from earlier. And I wasn't talking about just earlier either when I responded. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged trying to make her actions seem indifferent but I noticed how broken she looked. "That's how you felt. You shouldn't apologize for speaking your mind," she said still staring away from me. I felt like she was talking to the waves.

I took a risk with my next question. "Don't you ever wonder if we screwed up three years ago? If maybe our decision was wrong?"

I stared out across the ocean but out of the corner of my eye I saw she was no longer staring with me. She was staring at me. She looked thoughtful. Finally, she answered, "I don't really know. It wasn't really my decision."

I heard all of the hurt and pain I had been expecting that day in that one sentence. _It wasn't really my decision. _I stared down at my hands wishing more than anything I could take back all the lies I had told her.

For a second, I thought back to the days on the beach with her at the rez, before everything had gotten complicated. Suddenly, she was just my best friend. I wanted to tell her everything. Before I could act on that impulse, however, and tell her all the things that would make her hate me, she said, "What's wrong? I mean, why did you come out here in the first place?"

Hmm. Well, that was a great question. I could tell her it was because I was jealous of my best friend and wanted to pound him in the face every time he even looked her way. I doubted that would go over too well though. "I just needed a break. Life's too confusing," I told her not really lying at all. This was confusing.

"I agree," she told me.

I turned towards her and met her eyes. "What's confusing you?" I asked her intensely.

She took a deep breath and I could see her shiver. "Are you cold?" I asked putting my arm around her.

She shook her head and still didn't look away from me. "Why did you kiss me?" she asked, her voice shaking.

I froze not sure what to tell her. A voice in my head screamed silently," Because I want you. Because we are meant to be together… Because every second without hurts." But how could I explain all that to her when I had lied?

"I…" I broke off still not sure what to say.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Then, she opened them and leaned in dangerously close. The fire in her eyes was burning, something I hadn't witnessed in three years. The emotion in her eyes was mesmerizing, and I knew there was no way I could look away now. There was no way I could walk away.

My arm that I had thrown around her to keep her warm now pulled her even closer. I started to close the distance between us but one word stopped me.

"Don't," she whispered.

I didn't pull away from her or let go. I knew she didn't want me to. "Why?" I asked miserably staring into her eyes.

"We can't do that again. It's not right," she mumbled seeming captivated by my presence. It sent thrills through me to know that I was doing this to her. My mind worked on its own, and I ran my fingers down her back and then placed kisses down her neck. I smiled in triumph as I felt her tremble under my touch.

Suddenly, she broke me out of my spell. "Jake, why did you break up with me?" she asked seriously.

I wished I could give her everything she needed, but I knew I couldn't. I stared at her knowing I couldn't lie either, this time. "I can't tell you," I answered pathetically.

She jumped up and all the anger I had been expecting that day came pouring out. "You can't tell me? You told me you didn't love me, Jake. You told me you didn't want me. What could possibly be worse than that? What could be so bad that you would rather me think you hate me? Did you think I was just going to move on, that would find someone else? I'm not like you. I can't just throw away the person I love. I couldn't just forget about you."

I was on my feet instantly towering over her. I was too angry at her assumption to even realize that she had just admitted she still loved me. "You think it was easy for me? I didn't just forget you, Renesmee. I never moved on. You're impossible. You think everything is so easy but you're wrong. There are some things I can't tell you, some things you wouldn't understand."

I was shaking and beyond angry but she didn't even shrink away from my anger. "There _are _some things I don't understand," she said putting emphasis on the word are. "I don't understand how someone who told me they loved me could just one day decide I wasn't good enough. I don't understand why you thought I wouldn't understand when I was your best friend. And I don't understand why someone who I obviously mean nothing to, would kiss me," she yelled angrily.

"You mean everything to me," I said softly but she was no longer listening.

"You never called, Jake. You said you would call when you were ready. I waited. I hoped. I spent weeks by the phone. You never called," she yelled miserably, the tears now flowing relentlessly down her face. She took a step back.

"I'm sorry," I repeated hating myself wishing I could tell her the truth. I wanted to stop the pain so bad.

"Oh, I know," she snapped. "You are sorry. You're pathetic, too. Do you know what I went through after you walked away from me? No, I wouldn't guess you do. Because you didn't care enough to pick up the phone and call the girl you've been friends with since fourth grade. You didn't care in the first place. Well, I hope you got some enjoyment out of that kiss because that's the last time it will ever happen."

I stepped forward trying to calm her down. "Nessie, please," I begged. "Don't do this."

I could tell my use of her nickname got to her, but she shook her head. "You don't love me."

And before I could say anything else, she turned and ran.

**I know this chapter is a bit serious but they had to have this fight. It's very important to the story. I know Renesmee is a little mad and Jacob is very sad but they are both very upset right now. And don't worry. You know they will make up. Reviews make my day better. Please let me know how I did with Jake's point of view. I was a little nervous…. Thanks guys. **

**Love, Tif.**


	7. Chapter 6

** Well hello there darlings. I am so sorry this took so long. I lost the binder with all my stories in it, including this one, and I did not want to change the way I had wrote it first. But lucky for me, one of my friends found it in her trunk. Yay. Well now that softball season is over, I will have more time to write. And I'm already pretty much ready to put chapter 7 up so don't worry. It will be here soon. I hope you guys still enjoy my story. I feel the need to remind y'all that for now, there are no vampires in this story. I'm sorry. But I hope you still enjoy my story. Remember I don't own anything but Wesley and whatever other characters I randomly put in. Reviews make my day. Well I'm rambling so I'll shut up and let you enjoy. **

**Chapter Six**

**~Friends…~**

JPOV

I kicked at the sand and tried to stop the trembling. I was so angry and upset with myself that I was losing it. And I knew how dangerous that could be. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just tell her? I knew it was because I was scared if I did she would hate me but honestly I wasn't sure that she already didn't right now .

"This isn't working," I thought angrily.

I sat down and buried my face in my hands. I wished I hadn't hurt her. I wished she loved me. I wished I could erase the past. Her words kept playing over in my head and I couldn't calm down because of it. _You don't love me._

I f only she knew how wrong she was. I had loved her since the fourth grade and I hadn't stopped loving her. I never would no matter how hard I tried. I smiled through my pain as I remembered the first time I had ever saw her.

_I looked up to see a small, gorgeous, bronze haired girl in front of the crowd. For someone so young, she sure knew how to command the attention of everyone around her. She called the assembly to attention and that was the first time I heard her soft, musical voice. She was perfect; an angel. _

_ After the assembly, I stood around with all my friends. "I'm going to marry Renesmee Cullen, Embry," I told him with all the superiority of a ten year old. _

_ The guys laughed hysterically at something behind me and I turned to meet the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. They were narrowed almost to slits in her anger. _

_ "Are you crazy?" she asked in her musical voice. Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "I wouldn't marry you. You're a loser. I'm way too good for someone like you." She finished and walked away with a flip of her bronze curls. _

_ I stared after her awestruck. I should have been irritated, or annoyed, that she had just downed me but I couldn't. I had never met a girl who didn't fall at my feet before and she amazed me. I couldn't help but admire her. _

_ Quil and Embry laughed. "You have your work cut out for you, man" Quil said laughing. _

_ Embry said, "Yeah, she seems like a real great girl, Jake. She was kind of mean to you, dude."_

_ I smiled knowing he was right and not minding at all. "That's okay. I still want her."_

She had always been a fighter and for most of our childhood, she acted like she hated me. I eventually tired of it and picked on her back. She was the golden girl of our school, so I didn't have much to get her with but it helped that I was the only person who could make her blush. I didn't understand why she had to be so perfect all the time. When we grew up a little and started the eighth grade, I wondered if she even had another side, or if she was always so golden. I tried to convince myself she was boring and just ignore her superior attitude. I wanted to move on. It was impossible to get her. Why would she ever date a guy like me? I had been a problem student from the start. She was too high and mighty to date someone who would ruin her perfect reputation. And of course, there was always the problem that she wouldn't even speak to me unless she wanted to ruin my day. She was obnoxious, I know. But I always admired her stubbornness. She was wonderful. And I was just ordinary. I smiled remembering the first time she had ever spoke to me as if I was worthy of her presence.

_I turned towards Quil and Embry laughing about some guy who had just busted his tail walking into the gym. They both shut up quickly and stared ahead behind me as if trying to warn me of something. I didn't even have to turn around to see who was behind me. There was only one person who had enough guts to give us three guys hell. I laughed inwardly as I realized she was probably the only person who could make Quil and Embry shut up like that. I smiled when I saw her. Renesmee Cullen sure knew how to stop traffic. She had only grown more beautiful over the years so as she stood in front of me, her bronze curls flowing down her back, in a simple blue cotton dress, I was mesmerized. _

_ "Well, hello Nessie," I said using my own personal nickname to distract myself. I had used it to torture her over the years. She narrowed her eyes and I continued on carefree as always, "What has you over here consulting with the commoners?" She rarely talked to people who were labeled as bad kids much less walked over to where we sit. Maybe she was in a bad mood and needed somebody to take it out on. _

_ She sighed theatrically. "Apparently, my best friend has a crush on you. Deanna is a good girl so I'm here to threaten you and then to ask if you like her back."_

_ "Dee likes me?" I asked._

_ She rolled her eyes at my question. "I have no idea what she sees in you, but yes."_

_ I smiled warmly pretending not to notice her cold and doubting expression. "Alright. I'll walk with you to talk to her." Her beautiful eyes widened and I wondered if she was scared to be seen in public being nice to me. _

_ "Or I could walk over there by myself? It's not a big deal," I told her, though I was hurt. I couldn't be that bad. _

_ "Are you crazy? No way. My crowd would devour you," she said surprising me. _

_ I laughed. "Wouldn't you love that? But I promise you, I can take care of myself."_

_ She shook her head at me. "Jake," she started. I forced myself to get over the amazement I felt at hearing her speak my name, so I could listen to the rest. "We can try to get along for her. She's scared that I won't let her date you. If she likes you, I may not understand, but I damn sure am not going to let anyone mess with you. I f she thinks you are a good guy, then I will be standing behind you," she said sincerely. "Until you mess up, that is," she tacked on as an afterthought. I was amazed she would feel so strongly. She really trusted her friend's judgment. I didn't like Dee, even though she was great, but I figured it might be the best way to get close to Nessie. It could work. _

_ "Let's go," I said getting up. I really wasn't afraid of her crowd and it didn't matter because no one was going to mess with me if I was with her. _

_ We waved at Quil and Embry's shocked faces and I fought back a laugh. As we walked towards Dee, she spoke, "What's so funny?"_

_ "They are a little shocked you are being nice to me, not that it doesn't surprise me a little," I told her laughing. _

_ The corners of her perfect lips turned up. "I don't hate you, Jacob."_

_ I marveled at the sound of her wind chime voice. "Can I have your number?" I blurted out._

_ She looked at me and I was worried I had messed this up already. "So I can talk to you about Kim?" I continued hurriedly. _

_ She rolled her eyes. "Okay." She pulled out a piece of paper out of her purse and wrote down the number. _

_ I grinned my happiest smile at her and for once, she didn't hesitate to beam back. We had almost reached her friends. _

_ "Ready?" she asked looking straight ahead. _

_ I just nodded and followed the girl of my dreams. _

It was easy to become her best friend. We just fit together. I could read her moods like she was an open book and pretty soon I let her in. I discovered that Nessie wasn't the girl I had thought she was. She wasn't the perfect golden girl I had dreamed about.

She was even better.

She wasn't the type to stand for the lame drama and she made her own decisions which was probably the reason for her popularity. Se didn't follow the crowd, they followed her. Her grades were perfect and she was a teacher's pet, a daddy's girl, but she was anything but the angel I though she was.

As soon as we became close, I realized I had to be in her life some how, even if it was just as the best friend. So I tried to like Dee. It was a perfect plan, that is, until Nessie started avoiding me. I didn't understand. I hadn't done anything wrong. One day we were fine and I was walking her to class as usual. The next day she had gone back to hating me it seemed, only this time she didn't feel the need to pick on me.

When I realized my plan was no longer working, I didn't hesitate to break up with Deanna. Once we were over, I left the popular crowd and headed back to my friends. I didn't want to be around anything that reminded me of her. If I couldn't have her, I sure as hell didn't want anything else. She didn't give me much time to miss her though, because the day I broke up with Kim was the day I witnessed the full wrath of Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

_I was settled down on the picnic table waiting on my ride when she walked up. I noticed the angry look and wondered why she could possibly be mad at me, at least mad enough for her to talk to me. _

_ "Are you an idiot?" she asked piercingly. I hated that even in her anger, her musical voice distracted me. _

_ "Excuse me, Nessie?" I asked sounding bored and polite. I kept my eyes focused away from her, so I wouldn't get lost in her beautiful eyes. "Can I help you?"_

_ She didn't even bother to control her temper which was strange for her. "You ended it with her? Do you not realize how dumb that is? You can't find better. I've heard you cheated on her. You better hope that for your sake you didn't," she told me coldly. I noticed that she seemed way too upset, like it was her I had broke up with. _

_ I was hurt that she believed the lies. She knew me. But instead of showing my pain, I laughed at her coldly. "Why don't you go back to ignoring me, Ness? I think I like you better when you keep that obnoxious mouth of yours shut."_

_ She stood there with a look of shock on her face. It wasn't the shock that got through to me though. It was the hurt. She was hurt…because of what I had said. Nobody had that kind of power over Nessie. _

_ She shook her head and I saw the tear as the sunlight hit it. "I hate you, Jacob Black," she said, her voice shaking. She took off towards the parking lot to meet her parents. I stopped her quickly. _

_ "Nessie," I said grabbing her arm to slow her down. _

_ "Let go of me, Jacob," she said looking anywhere but at me. I hated that I hurt her and there was something I needed to tell her. I was tired of running. She needed to know._

_ "I love you, Nessie," I told her ignoring her attempts to get rid of me. _

_ At those words, she stopped fidgeting and stared at me with a shocked expression on her face._

_ "What?" she asked stupidly. For such a bright girl, she sure could be dense. _

_ "I love you," I repeated. "I started dating Dee to get close to you. You're the reason I started dating her and you're the reason I ended it with her, too. You say I can't find anyone any better, but I already found her a long time ago. I've loved you since the fourth grade, Renesmee Cullen. I don't want anybody, any of it, if I can't have you," I said intensely. I finished with my speech and turned away from her quickly. I walked off, leaving her standing there with an emotionless expression on her face. There was nothing else to say. With a sinking heart, I knew nothing had changed. She would still never be mine._

_ "Jake," Nessie yelled chasing after me and ending my thoughts. I faced her and met her perfect chocolate eyes. The usual stubborn look had returned to her face and I couldn't help but give her a small smile. She was truly an amazing girl. _

_ "Yes?" I asked her. _

_ Indecision was clear on her face. What she spoke next could not be her reason for running after me. "You really shouldn't walk away from people. It's rude," she told me superiorly in that tone that only she could pull off. _

_ I laughed sarcastically. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. I'll remember that for next time."_

_ She stared at me seriously ignoring my sarcasm, "Jake," she began._

_ I cut her off. "Look, you don't even have to say anything. I know you don't feel the same way so let's not make a big deal about it. You can't go back to pretending like I don't exist again."_

_ She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "You know what else is rude? Speaking for other people. Why don't you let me get a say in all this? Or are you scared to actually hear how I feel? Can't face the truth, Jake?" she asked impatiently._

_ Well, of course I was scared. It would break my heart to actually hear her tell me she never wanted me but of course, I was going to say that. _

_ So I just snapped, "Sure, sure. Tell me."_

_ Her eyes lost all the anger but there was a fire there I hadn't seen before. She kept her face deathly serious as she took a step closer to me that had me on edge. I wished I could reach out and kiss her, to taste her to know if she was as wonderful as I imagined, but I stood there waiting, willing myself to listen to the words that were sure to hurt me. _

_ But when she opened her mouth, she didn't say what I was expecting. _

_ "I love you, too," she said strongly._

_ I stood still in shock looking just like she had a few minutes earlier when I had told her. I looked around for her crowd of devoted followers to jump out and yell just kidding. And then stupidly, I asked the same question she had. "What?"_

_ She smiled sweetly and put her small hands in mine. "I," she began slowly. "Love," she said emphasizing each word like a separate sentence. "Y," she started but was cut off as I crushed my lips to hers. She sighed contended as she kissed me back passionately. There was no surprise, or hesitation. She just kissed me back with all she had. It was amazing; the feeling of her lips on mine. Her lips were soft and sweet. I pulled back so I could make sure this was truly what she wanted. _

_ She smiled brightly seeming indifferent to the stares around us. She had to be the only person I knew who could pull off popularity so gracefully. _

_ I expected her to say something obnoxious or totally superior like always, but she surprised me. Because as she looked at me, I noticed how completely unsure of herself she seemed. _

_ "Wow," she said breathlessly. I smiled widely. Wow was defiantly right._

After that day, we were inseparable. Nobody liked that we were dating, but as always, Nessie was indifferent to the whispers and stares. I hated that because of me all her friends were turning against her, but she didn't seem to mind. She was so stubborn. I loved her. Soon, I felt safe enough to introduce her to my life, to the reservation. It was love at first sight. She fell in love with the beach, the too small home, and most importantly with the people. Her and my dad became real close. Quil and Embry became her big brothers. She didn't care that the house was nowhere as big as her mansion or that the guys were always around annoying us. I was her best friend and life was amazing. She was happy; she was home.

And I took all that away from her.

I took off hoping I still had a chance.

NPOV

I ran off with the tears now flowing relentlessly. As I walked away, I noticed something peculiar. The strange pull that had led me out the door to the beach, to Jake, was tugging at me trying hard to get me to turn around. I ignored it stubbornly and embraced the aching pain. I made it to some steps and sat down. I couldn't find the strength to keep going anymore. I was as far away from him as I could take.

"What is wrong with me?" I wondered angrily. Sure, I had always loved him. Evne when I picked on him as kids, I had always felt something for him. I was exaggerating a little (well maybe a lot) when I said we had been friends since the fourth grade. Honestly, I had made his life hell. But I had always secretly wanted him.

But now it was more than want, it was need. I needed him. I was drawn to him. Even as I sat here pretending I wasn't in love with him, I was being drawn to him. I was steadily being pulled back to him. I knew I could no longer live without him in my life. Before, these three years without him, had been hard but bearable. I knew something was missing but I could ignore it. I could pretend. I could pretend that everything he had done hadn't hurt me and that I wasn't still pining away after him. Now, that same stupid force that was pulling me to him, was telling me that without him I wouldn't be able to be happy. I needed him near to me to be whole. And not just physically near me. I needed him emotionally.

Why? What was it that he was doing to me? I shook my head confused. Things were so different. He was different. Time had matured him over the past years, changing him into a stranger. But when we were at the beach, before I had blown up at him, it had almost been like old times. We had been two halves of a whole, synchronized in our motions, gravitating towards each other. He had been my very best friend.

Wesley had filled in some of the holes in my heart, but there were some places he couldn't reach. Somehow, he could never compete with Jake's memory. I never truly loved again.

Suddenly, a sadistic thought slipped from the back of my mind. I laughed hysterically. I _had _loved again and the guy had hurt me deeply. He had inflicted more scars than Jake. He had destroyed what was left of me. The only part that Jake had left in tact had been ripped to shreds by this guy. Thank goodness for Wesley. Without him, I probably wouldn't have wanted to stay strong.

I pushed all those thoughts away. I looked towards the beach remembering when I had first realized I was in love with Jacob Black. I remembered back to when Jake was the most amazing guy I knew.

_I stood in front of the mirror at school talking to myself. I had to be crazy. I mean seriously. Talking to myself? But it wasn't my fault. He was making me crazy. _

_ Jacob Black was driving me crazy._

_ In the past month, my opinion of him had changed entirely. He wasn't a jerk or an asshole. He was compassionate, trustworthy, funny, and not to mention completely gorgeous. I pictured his perfect russet skin, his long beautiful dark hair, his perfect eyes, his amazing eyes—_

_ I cut my self off by shaking my head stubbornly as was habit. _

_ Out loud to my reflection I said, "You can't fall for him. He's your best friend's boyfriend. And he's your best friend."_

_ I almost felt like the world was laughing at me. Even though he was technically with Dee, it was me he was closest to. Somehow he had made it to my heart. And that was something no guy before him had managed to do. He was carrying my books, and making me smile. I, of course, was losing it. _

_ For him. _

_ My reflection was mocking me. In the mirror was a beautiful girl, a popular girl, a girl who knew how to get what she wanted and wasn't afraid to get it. So what was he doing to me? Why was I so scared to go after him? Where was my never ending confidence now? I knew that it wasn't because of Dee that I wouldn't go after him. She wasn't in love him. She would be fine._

_ That's when it hit me. My reflection's eyes widened. _

_ I was in love with him. _

That was the day I decided to avoid him. I couldn't let him get to me anymore. I wanted him, and not just as a best friend. I wanted to be the girl whose hand he held, who he kissed goodbye. I wanted to be the one he wanted.

I didn't believe it was possible. What could he ever want with me? He had her and I had to admit Deanna was beautiful.

Then he broke up with her. And I was furious. How could he just walk away from her? I had given up on him, for his happiness with her. Of course, the real truth scared me. If she wasn't good enough, then I sure wasn't.

But come to find out, he did love me. I was what he wanted. From the day he first told me he loved me, there was a truth in his words that I believe in fully. I had honestly been sure of our relationship. Now, it was a different story. He had left me. He had never called, or checked up on me. He just left me with a hole in my heart and a life to live. Like I hadn't had enough to deal with at that point in time.

I remembered so much about us. I hated the power he has over me. What could I do? I still wanted him. There were so many memories that I had kept hidden in the back of my mind over the last three years. I had tried to replace him. At first it had almost worked because I wasn't replacing him with another guy. I was replacing him with a different kind of pain. He had left me in the middle of a death. It was easy to focus on the tragedy for a while. But after a while, I was tired of being alone. And that's when trying to replace him had got me hurt. And of course, Jake hadn't been there to help me out of that one.

I could feel my soul calling for him. He may not be my other half, but he was definitely a part of me. So why was I running? Why didn't I just give him another chance?

Oh yeah. That's right. I was running because he had blown the first chance. I was running because I wasn't good enough. He hadn't had no problem surviving without me all this time.

My memories were now betraying me, showering me with the presence of my use to be best friend and love.

_"Ness, I love you. You are my everything," he said speaking with so much conviction I couldn't doubt his words._

_ "I love you too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me," I admitted. _

_ His cocky, perfect smile lit his face. "Oh, I know."_

_ I rolled my eyes and groaned. Stupid, cocky, jerk. "You're so rude," I snapped._

_ He smiled sheepishly like a kid who had been caught sticking their hand in a cookie jar. _ _"I'm not perfect, angel. You should be happy I'm not like the guys you use to date," he said simply. Yeah, being with him was definitely different. He wasn't stuck up or rich. He was perfect. _

_ "I am," I said happily. _

_ He looked at me intensely all hints of joking erased from his expression. "You remember in the fourth grade I told all my friends I was going to marry you?"_

_ I giggled as I remembered. "Wasn't that the day I told you I was too good for you?" I asked in between laughs._

_ He nodded still serious and stroke my cheek. "Do you still think so?" he asked sounding unsure of his self._

_ I looked at him like he had gone crazy. "Of course not," I answered immediately. _

_ "Why?" he asked curiously. _

_ "It's the other way around. You're too good for me."_

_ He started laughing. I felt a twinge of annoyance. This wasn't funny._

_ I opened my mouth to tell him off when he spoke, "You are unbelievable. Damn. I'm pretty lucky."_

_ I looked at him questioning him with my eyes. He smiled at me sincerely._

_ "You have no idea how wonderful you really are. One day, Renesmee Cullen, I am going to marry you," he told me seriously. _

_ I stared at him trying to find a trace of his usual humor. He had to be joking. I didn't want him to know how much this meant to me, but I slipped. "You promise?" I asked hopefully._

_ H e smiled down at me and captured my lips with his. In between kisses he said, "I promise. I'm never going to leave you, Nessie."_

Suddenly, my tears were falling harder. I hated him. Why would he make a promise he couldn't keep? Did I matter so very little to him that he didn't have the decency to tell me the truth? I hated myself for hurting over him. He had lied. He had left without so much as a backwards glance.

I had given up hope a long time ago but it still hurt to admit it. I would never be Renesmee Black. That dream had shattered a long time ago.

His voice cut into my thoughts, but it wasn't the faded sound of my memories. Jacob Black was standing in front of me witnessing all my pain.

"Ness," he whispered broken. I forced myself to look away. I had never seen him so vulnerable.

"Just please go away, Jacob," I said between sobs. "For once, I'm asking. Please leave me alone."

"I won't make the same mistake twice," he mumbled so lowly I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear it. I sneaked a glance at him and hated myself. I couldn't stand how pained he was. I wasn't just hurting him; I was hurting my soul. I ached all over.

"I have a proposition, Nessie," he said still staring at me with those defeated eyes of his. It was at that exact moment that I realized that Jacob Black still had power over me. Because I would do anything to take away his pain.

Anything.

Which is probably the reason, I listened to him instead of walking off.

"What is it?" I mumbled.

"I hurt you, I know that. I'm so sorry, Ness. You have to know I had my reasons and there are things I can't tell you. It's not because I don't trust you though. I've always trust you and I always will. You were my best friend, babe."

I tried to cut him off to tell him that I didn't want to hear this. If he trust me so much, he would tell me. And sorry didn't change anything. It couldn't fix the past. But he held up his hand and spoke quickly.

"I miss you."

I knew he was telling the truth so I didn't hesitate. I suddenly didn't feel like lying. "I miss you, too."

He walked closer to me and touched my face. I once again longed to touch him, to kiss him, to fall into his embrace. But his beautiful voice woke me up, "I know you don't want me," Jake started. I wanted to punch him. He had to be an idiot. Was that kiss not enough of a reminder of how much I loved him? "I can understand that. We can pretend the kiss never happened. It was a mistake. I mean we dated for two years. Of course, we would still be attracted to each other." I blinked back tears. A mistake? I tried not to break down and forced myself to focus on his words. "You've moved on. That's fine. I wouldn't expect anything else from you. But I need my best friend back. We can try that at least, right? We can be friends."

I looked away. "I don't know," I said softly.

He grabbed me forcing me to look at him. His eyes were pleading with me. "I want us to be okay. I need you, Nessie."

I felt a sudden warmth as his words took effect. He _needs _me.

Weak, weak, weak. I hated myself…because I now knew my answer. I couldn't walk away from him, like he had done me. Every single thing he had said was wrong. I wasn't over him and I sure as hell wanted him. Hell, it was taking all my will power not to press my lips to his right now. But I didn't tell him any of that. I just nodded causing his face to break out in a grin. I was too scared to speak the truth.

In a way, I was just like him.

**I hope you enjoy. R &R. Chapter 7 is on its way.**

** Love, Tif. **


	8. Chapter 7

**Okay guys, I told you I would have this up pretty quick so here it is. I hope you like it. My bestie who has been reading my chapters got a kick out of it but me and her have a weird sense of humor so… you never know. Anyways, I must tell you that the texts in bold are from Nessie and the underlined are Jake. I think it's pretty obvious but I'll just point it out anyways. Senior year is winding down and I might be really busy next week so I don't know when the next chapter will be posted. Either way, reviews make my day. I really am thankful for the people who let me know how I'm doing. I don't own anything but Wesley and Dee. And I love those two characters **

**Chapter 4**

**~Just like old times~**

NPOV

We made our way slowly back to the hotel room, neither one of us talking. On one hand I relished the silence because I could think about how wrong it was for him to want to be just friends. Sure, I was hurt. But that didn't mean I thought that kiss was a mistake. On the other hand, I wished he would talk. I wished I could read minds because I really needed to know what he was thinking about. Was it Leah? He didn't really seem to like her… Was it me? Was he really happy with this?

When we got back to the hotel room, we sat down to drink and party. I didn't mind the loud noise because it tuned out everything else. Leah stared at me and I stared back but it didn't matter. The feeling was mutual; we hated each other.

I kept my eyes on Jake, who seemed to be keeping his eyes on me too, but another part of me was worried about my best friend. Wesley was watching me with a sad knowing expression. It bothered me that he wasn't talking to me about his problems. He always came to me.

"Except when you are the problem," said that stupid sarcastic voice in the back of my mind.

I shook my head trying to ignore myself.

Jake stared at me smiling sending butterflies through my stomach. "Why are you arguing with yourself?"

I look over at him amused. "What makes you think I'm talking to myself?"

He chuckled warmly. It was almost like old times. "You always shake your head when you're arguing with yourself. It's really rather stupid that you're that stubborn. Can't you even agree with yourself?"

Wesley snorted angrily from the other side of the room, as if to tell me he didn't approve. I sent him a questioning glare.

Jake leaned over, adding fuel to the fire, and whispered, "Don't mind him. He's just jealous."

I shook my head in denial and whispered back, "That's not true."

"You don't see yourself clearly, you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He sent me a look that said it should be obvious. "He's in love with you," he told me confidently.

It was my turn to giggle. "You're crazy. You two must not be as good of friends as I thought you were. Wesley doesn't fall in love, he dates," I managed out between laughs. I knew my best friend well. And he didn't even tell me he loved me now, even though I said it all the time. And he was blunt. If he wanted something, he had no problem going after it. He proved that when we had dated but I decided it best not to mention that time period to Jake.

Jake looked at me so seriously, however, that my laughter died out. "There's no way," I said and I hated how sad I sounded. Wesley and I had never had a real chance but we were good together. I just didn't have my heart in it when we dated. I didn't have my heart in much of anything at that point in my life.

Jake picked up on my change of tone. "You want him to love you?"

I smiled dryly. "What I wanted never did matter."

I stood up wanting to get away from this conversation. My knee was killing me so I stared around looking for somewhere to lie down. It was getting late.

Wesley was by my side in seconds. This was getting old. Jake and Wesley were giving me whiplash from trying to deal with both of them. "You tired?" he asked concerned.

I nodded quickly. I wanted to get out of here and sleep. I needed to be able to think straight to deal with them. Leah came over quickly taking advantage of the situation. "You and Wesley can sleep in the bed in the back, that is, if y'all don't mind sleeping together?" she asked sweetly. I knew she was just trying to get me away from Jake but what did it matter? He didn't want me.

And maybe, just maybe, Wesley's embrace would make me forget about the gorgeous guy who was now shooting daggers at Leah and Wesley.

"That's good with me," I said before Jake could open his mouth to argue.

Wesley smiled happily. I smiled widely back glad to have contented him. But as I snuck a look at Jake's face, my heart sank. I hated the pain I was causing him even if I didn't understand it. I wasn't sure why it mattered. All he wanted was friendship.

I ignored him, remembering that I shouldn't feel bad and walked back to the bed with Wesley. I closed the door that separated the back from the front and stripped down to just my t-shirt and underwear. Wesley kept his eyes on me the whole time, making me nervous. I flushed a little, wondering what his problem was. We slept in the same bed all the time. Hell, we practically lived together. He had his own room in my house and I shared the bed with him at his. So why was he staring like that?

"What?" I finally snapped.

He smiled seemingly amused at my tone. He bothered me so bad. He was the only person who had ever been able to stand up to my temper. Even Jake ran scared every now and then. Wesley, however, just smiled that perfect Cheshire cat grin.

"Asshole," I grumbled but my anger was fading away quickly as I stared at his beautiful face.

"You like it," he said mockingly as he held out his arms for me to crawl in to the bed with him.

I smiled involuntarily and sunk into his embrace. Suddenly, everything seemed a little easier. I didn't have to worry about what I was going to do about Jake. I let myself pretend that Wesley wanted me still, that we hadn't broke up because of me. I knew Jake would never replace Wesley as my best friend now, because Jake had left when I needed him most. There was a part of my past that Jake would never be able to understand… because it was Wesley who saved me.

Wesley had saved me from _him_.

"Stop thinking about Brandon, please," Wesley mumbled in to my hair sending chill bumps down my arms. I pulled myself closer to him loving his familiar hold.

"I wasn't thinking about him," I lied feebly. I was getting even drowsier now.

"Bullshit," he snapped.

"You and Jake," I muttered angrily.

"What about us?"

"You two seem to think that y'all can read my mind. It's rather annoying," I lashed out angrily. Why couldn't they just let my thoughts stay in my head?

"I don't know about him. He might be able to read you, but I know you. I've been right beside you these last three years. He left you, remember?"

Yeah, I remember, all too well. I sat up and stared in to his eyes. The deep depths of his brown eyes were beautiful and could easily draw me in, but all I saw was the guy in the front of the hotel room. Wesley would never be Jake. It was sad because that statement use to make me happy.

I continued to stare at him wishing I could feel the way I did about him yesterday. I wished I could still want Wesley more that I needed Jake.

"Can't find what you're looking for?" he asked sadly. I wondered at his tone. It was strange for him not to kiss me goodnight like he always did, but I didn't ask about it. I didn't think I could take it from him tonight too.

I ignored his question and laid myself back down in his arms. Right before I fell asleep, I felt his lips touch my forehead and heard his muttered, "Sweet dreams."

I mumbled, "I love you," like always and the exhaustion won out.

The next morning was hurried. We woke up rather late and packed to go home. I walked on the beach one last time and pretty soon we ate lunch. Then it was time to go. It annoyed me that I only got to spend one day with Wesley and Jake, but our spring breaks were on different weeks. Theirs had been the week before, and mine was now, so I would be driving down to Forks and La Push to see them. I was glad Wesley lived outside of the rez but I knew that Jake would expect me to visit there so there was really no relief. Either way, I would have to face the past.

The car ride home was seemingly quick, though in reality a few hours, and all too soon we were at my house. They still had another hours drive to go. Wesley stepped out of the car at the huge mansion that I lived in and kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you soon. You can drive down this week and Prom is only two weeks away. So don't miss me too much," he teased.

I smiled contented. It really was great to have Wesley for a prom date. With him, I was sure to have fun and a romantic dinner before, even if it didn't mean anything real. "I can't wait," I informed him.

I turned to meet Jake's beautiful eyes. "I guess I'll see you sometime this week?" I asked questioningly.

Jake nodded vigorously. "I have your cell number so I'll text you. No worries. We'll keep in touch this time," he said reminding me of the past. He hugged me tightly, surprising me with his strength and leaving me a little breathless.

"I'll miss you," he whispered softly in my ear.

"I'll miss you both," I said loud enough for the two of them. Neither one of them needed to know just how much.

Wesley and Jake climbed back in to the black mustang and pulled out quickly slinging dirt. I smiled to myself. His car was okay and all, but it sure wasn't as great as mine.

I walked towards my house preparing myself for the ambush that was sure to be waiting for me from my family. They would have missed me a lot, even for the short amount of time that I was gone. My knee felt a lot better so I had no problems making it up the steps. Once inside, I stared around at the beautiful home. I didn't have to wait much longer.

Mom, Dad, and Aunt Alice made their way down the stairs. My Uncle Jasper must have been out because he didn't greet me.

"Hey, darling," my mom said hugging me.

Aunt Alice ran over in her typically bubbly fashion and kissed my cheek. "I can't wait to go shopping. Spring Break is going to be wonderful."

I laughed happily. Only Alice… Shopping would be the first thing she thought of when I got home.

Then my daddy walked up and hugged me. I really was a daddy's girl.

"Daddy, I missed you," I told him.

"I missed you too, baby girl. Did you have fun?" he asked.

"It was great," I chimed.

"Even with Jake there?" he asked suspiciously.

I gulped nervously. They didn't particularly care for Jake. They had witnessed the end of our relationship and had to deal with my lifeless eyes for far too long after him. "Well, we weren't so good at first," I admitted truthfully. "But we decided it would be good to be friends."

My dad nodded, though both he and my mom looked worried. Alice, however, looked at me knowingly. "That was very mature of you," she said.

I smiled, extremely thankful for my wonderful Aunt. "Thanks. It made things a lot more fun, too."

I started to walk up the stairs to my room, but remembering my plans, stopped. "I'm going down there tomorrow," I said. "If that's okay with y'all?" I added on hastily.

"To see Wesley?" my dad asked, "Or to see Jake?"

"I'm not really sure. Both probably, but Wes for sure," I told him truthfully.

He looked at my mother and they exchanged looks. It was so hard to watch. They were so lucky. How could two people be so perfect for each other? They continued their silent conversation and I wanted to leave. It hurt so much just to be near them.

Quickly, as if sensing my distress, Aunt Alice interceded, "Let her go, Eddy," she said teasing him. "You can't keep her cooped up in this house forever, no matter how big it is. She has a license and a car. And we trust Wesley, remember?"

I smiled warmly at her, glad to have her on my side. My dad mumbled something that sounded like, "But we don't trust Jake."

"Daddy, I want to go. Please?" I pouted. I smiled mentally as I realized that I was winning. He couldn't deny me anything that would make me happy, not after I had been so sad for so long.

He nodded. "You'll be careful, right?"

I smiled innocently. "Of course." And I made my way up the stairs to the third floor that was reserved just for me. My family was huge and we were all extremely close. Usually, we all lived together; hence the huge house, but my Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett were busy "traveling". My grandfather had taken a job in a bigger city in order to help more people; my grandmother went with him of course so for a while it was just going to be us, Aunt Alice, and Uncle Jasper.

I walked through my room and settled down on my bed to read. The whole floor was mine but the other side was dedicated to a library and a music room so I was on the side with my bedroom and game room. I needed something to take my mind off the day's events so I grabbed my mother's favorite book, Wuthering Heights. I turned off my phone so I could ignore everyone. I would deal with the texts tomorrow.

Today, I needed a break.

A knock on my door interrupted my reading. "Can I come in?" Aunt Alice asked, uncustomary for her. Usually she just barged right in.

"Sure, sure," I said. I had definitely picked that up from Jake.

She opened the door and looked at me hesitantly. I then understood that she knew something was wrong with me. I took in her beautiful appearance. She was pixie like, extremely thin, and her hair stuck out everywhere. It really wasn't fair that my whole family was so gorgeous… If I was as pretty as them, maybe Jake wouldn't have left, maybe Spence wouldn't have hurt me, or maybe Wesley would be mine.

"Hi," she said softly seating herself on the bed with me. "You okay?"

I was so glad to have her because my Aunt Alice didn't feel like my Aunt. She was like my best friend. "I'm confused," I admitted angrily. "It's all his damn fault. How can he think he can just walk back into my life, and be my best friend again?"

She smiled sadly and knowingly. "Does it make you mad because he wants to be your friend or does it bother you because that's all he wants?"

And there it was. The truth. I did want him as more than a friend. I loved him, still. "He kissed me, Alice," I told her leaning in for her to hold me while I cried.

"Well, that's good," she murmured in a comforting tone. "That's what you want, isn't it? It means he still cares."

"Well, it was good, until I screamed at him and ran off later. And then he followed after me and told me it was a mistake and he was sorry? Sorry…I know he's dumb but is he honestly stupid enough to think that I didn't want that?" I asked her frustrated.

She chuckled a little at me. "He's not dumb, babe. It's not easy for him either, I bet. He messed up by leaving you and now he thinks he doesn't stand a chance. Think about how he feels babe. Jake always loved you so much. Whatever reason he had for breaking up with you, it must have been good. And I have a feeling he isn't going to give up on you. He's just using this being friends thing to get close to you again, I think," she said knowingly.

"It's definitely not over, though. I think you are going to forgive him and just when things get good again, something else is going to happen. And it will be your fault this time," she added mysteriously.

I laughed. "You sound like some gypsy physic."

"Laugh at me all you want," she said sticking her tongue out.

My laughter died out as I asked, "How could he leave me? His reason can't be that good."

"Did you even ask him what his reason was?"

"Yeah, that would be why we started fighting," I grumbled. "He won't tell me. He doesn't trust me."

She met my saddened eyes and spoke bluntly. "Do you love him?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. That was the truth and there no point in lying to Alice. "But," I started.

"There are no buts, Nessie," she said cutting me off. "If you love him, you have to give this stupid fight up. I know you're stubborn, but don't you remember when you first started dating?" I nodded and she continued. "He wouldn't tell you all his problems at first but you were patient, and then after you gave him time, he was ready. You didn't bother him, or treat him like this then. He learned he could trust you. So stop fighting. Give him time, like you did before," she told me.

I must have looked doubtful because she added, "Maybe we could speed it up."

"How?" I asked confused. What could possibly give him the motive to tell me he loves me?

"Wesley," was her simple answer.

I smiled back already knowing where this was going. "Alice, I'm going to need you to pick out my outfit tomorrow."

She squealed loudly jumping up. "Yay," she yelled.

I joined in her enthusiasm. Then, I thought of something. "Why don't you hate Jake like the rest of them do?" I asked curiously. She knew how bad he had hurt me.

"Because he looks at you the way Jasper looks at me," she said simply. She walked towards the door. "I'll be back in the morning to show you your outfit. I'm sure you need time alone to think. Are you hungry?"

I smiled at how bubbly she is. She knew how to cheer me up. "Nah, not really."

"Well, if you get hungry, just let me know, and I'll send something up."

"Thanks," I said sincerely. Hopefully, she knew I wasn't talking about the food.

She smiled and before she walked out the door said, "Just think about what I said, please. Give Jacob a chance to redeem himself."

It was pretty late, though not really quite time to go to sleep. I wondered about the things my dear Aunt Alice had said.

Should I really give him a chance? Was he worth it?

I could answer that one immediately. Of course, he is. He would have to kill a member of my family before I would think that he wasn't worth it. I would always have a soft spot for that annoying boy.

Now, for the next question… Could I really act like nothing had happened? Could I pretend these past three years were nothing? Could I ignore the fact we dated?

Could I be the cocky, popular girl I had been before Jacob? Could I really forgive him?

Better yet, could I really just be his friend, even for just a little while?

I yawned tiredly. I mumbled out loud to myself, "This is ridiculous. You shouldn't be so tired. Get it together, Renesmee. You can do this."

I smiled sleepily as I closed my eyes. Tomorrow, I was going to remind Jacob Black just who he was messing with.

JPOV

She wasn't answering my text messages and it was killing me. I needed to know she was fine. I had half a mind to call her, but she wasn't answering Wesley either. She didn't have a reason to ignore him, so I figured she had just gone to sleep or something.

I decided to lie down and get the hell out of this mess. Maybe, Nessie would leave me alone in my dreams because I sure wasn't getting any peace in my head right now. She occupied every waking second. She had said we could be friends, but I wasn't so sure. She was so different than how I remembered. Sure, she was still kind of stubborn but she was way more fragile that before. She must have been through a lot when I had left because she sure didn't have the spunk she used to.

Even when she had been yelling at me on the beach, she hadn't really been defending herself. She had just been running away, grasping at an escape and that wasn't the Renesmee I knew.

The Nessie I knew would probably have kicked my ass.

I put the pillow over my ears trying to block thoughts of her out of my head. I needed sleep. I closed my eyes and was thankful when I gave in to the night.

I awoke the next morning to a text from her. I was glad as all my dreams had consisted of her. She just wasn't going to leave me alone. I smiled warmly as I read it.

**Sorry, I fell asleep. I'm getting ready then heading to get Wesley. We'll meet you at your house. **

I freaked. My house? She was coming to my house? She hadn't been here since the break up… What in the world was she doing? I gave up wondering and just texted her back. If she wanted to reopen these wounds, then that was her business. I texted so I could ran over to Sam's first and let him know what I would be doing today.

Alright I'll see you soon. Drive careful. 

**Her answer was almost immediate. Will do. **

It eased me to know I would see her today, at least. I didn't really believe she would want anything to do with me. I jumped in to the shower and wondered how painful it would be to see her today. She seemed so broken and that killed me. I almost missed the obnoxious girl I had daydreamed about as a kid; the girl I had fell in love with.

At least the pain meant she still felt something.

A few hours later, I heard the soft purr of an engine outside my house. I stuck my head outside the door and my mouth fell open. A silver Audi R8 was outside my door. The car was beautiful and I sure wished I could drive it.

Then, I caught sight of her and the car was forgotten. She was wearing a strapless pink and white tank and some very short navy shorts. And I do mean short. All I could so was stare. She looked amazing. And hell, I still wanted her. It was taking all my strength not to tackle her now.

I saw Wesley dragging along behind her, admiring her as well, and practically drooling. I wondered if I looked like that. It kind of pissed me off, but I was playing the role of best friend. And a best friend wouldn't be jealous.

I stopped gawking at her amazing body long enough to realize that she was carrying herself differently. There was a confidence there that she hadn't had yesterday, but I had definitely seen before. I mentally cussed myself out. I really hated that stupid saying, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it," because at this moment it was all too appropriate. I had got my wish.

"Well, fuck," I muttered. The Renesmee Cullen I had fell in love with had been obnoxious, popular, beautiful, confident, and everything I couldn't have.

And she was back.

She walked right up to me, not hesitating at all. Wesley was walking behind her still and was looking very amused. He shot me a look that said, "You are really in for it." Well, I didn't need that look from the pain in the ass. I already knew that.

"Hey, Wesley. Hey, Nessie," I said determined to pretend like she wasn't doing this.

Wesley said, "Hey," loudly like all this didn't affect him. He seemed so superiorly amused that I wanted to cross the room and punch him. He seemed way too distracted by the way she looked to pay me any attention anyways. I had to admit he had a reason to stare. It wasn't like I hadn't seen her dressed like this before when she was younger. It was just well, she had grown up. And filled in. The shorts emphasized her perfectly toned legs making me want to run my lips over every part of her body, especially those legs. The top showed enough cleavage to make me want to see it off of her, and I was sure that Wesley wanted that too. Her skin sparkled healthily in the sun, and the bronze of her hair was even more evident in her curls. I found myself getting just as distracted as Wesley, and really turned on, as I imagined kissing her again and the feeling of those legs wrapped around me as she tried to pull me closer the other night.

But then she opened her mouth and ruined it for me.

"Hey, Black," she said confidently. I narrowed my eyes as she called me by my last name. I wanted to knock her off her little pedestal but I wasn't quite sure how. "Are we going to stand here all day? Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked impatiently gesturing towards the door.

"Sure, sure," I mumbled back.

She smiled triumphantly. I knew she was winning whatever stupid game she was playing. And it didn't help that I couldn't stop staring at her, and imagining her without clothes on, which was really wrong of me because it took away from my anger. She pushed past me, obviously deciding not to wait on me to open the door, and whispered, "Why don't you take a picture?"

I followed after her huffing angrily. What the hell was she doing? Why was she acting like such a bitch?

"Dad, I have friends over," I yelled. I stood watching as Ness, of course, made her self at home. My dad rolled up in his wheelchair spotting Wesley first as he was still standing. "Hi, Wes," he said smiling warmly. Then he noticed Nessie sitting on the couch. For the first time since she had pulled up, she had been looking nervous. But my dad's smile got even warmer as he stared at her and she smiled warmly back, jumping up to give him a hug. I felt a little grumpy knowing it was only me she hated about this place.

They talked back and forth, her telling him what she had been doing, and him running his mouth about his fishing adventures. Wesley and I walked away giving them a chance to talk.

"She still likes you," he blurted out when we were a safe distance away. Wesley was staring at her sadly. He always spoke his mind, no matter the subject but even so he surprised me this time.

I shook my head. "Y'all are good friends and whatever, but you're wrong about her this time. She wants to be friends," I said miserably.

He laughed dryly. "For someone who only wants to be friends, she sure is putting on a good show. Just to let you know, she doesn't usually dress like that. And she usually only acts this cocky when she's trying to put me in my place."

I snuck a glance back over at her. She was staring at me and when I met her eyes she continued to stare back. "She still has guts," I admitted reluctantly.

He smiled his normal half sarcastic, half cocky smile. "Yeah, she's a bit of a pain in the ass," he said admiringly.

"Do you like her?" I asked before I could make myself shut up. But I really did want to know the answer.

He looked away quickly so I knew better than to believe his quick, "No."

"I do," I told him sincerely. "So if you have a problem with it, now would be a good time to speak up."

He kept his eyes averted from mine. "Do you really love her?" he asked ignoring my statement.

"More than anyone else ever could," I said coldly hoping to give him a hint.

He didn't reply back and I figured that was the end of our little heart to heart. But as I turned to walk away, he stopped me. "Look, I know she still loves you. I see the way she looks at you. I know her, and let's just say it's been a long time since she's had that look in her eyes. So I approve. If you hurt her though, I'll sure as hell kick your ass. And if you're going to get her back, then I would soon, before someone else decides they want her. And If I know anything about her, she doesn't wait on anyone. She has her own way of thinking," And with that, the conversation ended.

Nessie bounced over to us. "We are going to the beach," she said sounding like a spoiled child who seemed to know she was going to get her way. She flipped her hair that annoying way she used to and made her way towards the door.

I was tired of this. Fine. If she wanted to act like she use to, then I guess two can play at this game.

"No," I said loudly. With her hand on the door, she turned around slowly with a fire blazing in her eyes.

"Excuse me?" she asked coldly.

"It's nice to know you know how to use your manners, even when you're talking to people below you," I snapped sarcastically. She narrowed her eyes and I smiled in response. It was almost like old times.

"It's nice to know that you still let people run all over you," she announced angrily.

"I would have thought you would learn how to control that pathetic temper of yours," I told her observantly.

The anger evaporated quickly and in a sickly sweet tone she said, "Let me rephrase this for those who have such a small brain they can't comprehend. I'm going to the beach," she said haughtily. "If you two would like to join me, that's fine. If not, then I guess I'll see you later."

I sighed loudly knowing I was going to follow her annoying ass. Wesley trailed along beside me trying to hide his laughing behind coughs.

"Could you be less happy?" I snapped at him.

He stared at me amused. "She's really something. I can't believe you're actually scared of her."

"I'm not scared of her," I muttered stubbornly.

Wesley smiled cockily. "Then, why in the world, are you giving her exactly what she wants?"

I walked faster to catch up with her. He was right. I was doing exactly what she wanted. I grabbed her arm and snatched her back.

"Ouch, what?"

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked irritated.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I am like this," she said matter-of-factly.

"You weren't like this yesterday," I countered.

I hated that we were going back and forth like we had when we were kids. What was her problem?

"Do you remember when you first took me here?" she asked softly completely throwing me off.

I nodded slowly. Of course, I remembered. "What about it?"

Her voice had lost all the sarcasm and I remembered back to the days when we had become best friends. "I always thought I was going to be a part of this one day," she said honestly.

Her statement shocked me. There it was. The reason I had decided I had to have her in my life to begin with. The reason I had continued to talk to Dee. Because deep down she was as wonderful as I thought she was. Half the time she acted so superior, but really she was so down to earth. It was statements like that, that really got to me, because she was dropping her guard just for me.

"I thought so, too," I admitted.

"But you didn't want it," she said so softly I almost didn't hear her.

"You're a part of it now," I told her.

She shook her heard and walked faster towards the beach. I had forgotten just how much she loved La Push. It wasn't even that nice of a beach, but for some unknown reason she seemed to adore it. She smiled happily and her melodious laughter rang out.

As soon as we reached the beach I was feeling pretty good about me and her. Maybe, the way she had been acting earlier was over now.

Of course, I should have known that she wouldn't give up that easily.

"I think I'm going to get in the water," she said smiling towards the ocean. "I want to swim."

"You'll get your clothes wet," Wesley said watching her with a strange expression, as if he knew something I didn't.

"Yeah, you're right," she mumbled in agreement. Then she did something that shocked the hell out of me.

She started taking her clothes off.

Wesley laughed at the look on my face as she pulled off her shirt. "She has her bathing suit on underneath," he mumbled trying to help me out.

I stared at her realizing this was true and that's when I also realized staring probably wasn't a good idea.

Because now I wanted her even more. The swimsuit she had on was strapless just like her shirt, only it revealed so much more. I looked over her perfectly flat stomach wanting to run my fingers over her porcelain like skin. The navy blue contrasted with her skin beautifully. Then she pulled off the shorts and I ran my eyes over her bottom half imagining all the things I could do to her… if she was mine.

She seemed to be ignoring my wandering eyes. I wondered where her smart mouth was at this moment, but then I realized her plan as she called out, "Wesley, get in the water with me."

She was pouting and he laughed at her. "No way, Nessie," he said.

"Please?" she begged.

"It's cold."

"I'll keep you warm," she said smiling naughtily. I felt sick watching her flirt with him.

He smiled back cockily at her. "It's not happening, even thought that's very tempting."

She turned around heading to the ocean (giving me an excellent view) and kicked the water at him splashing him.

He chased after her. "That wasn't even fair," he said laughing good naturedly tossing his shirt to the side as he ran. He kept his shorts on and made his way to her. She wrapped her arms around him as he got in the water and kissed his cheek.

He didn't even seem to realize he was being used. But I did. And I had to watch it. I knew in my heart she had to be doing this just to get to me, but it still hurt me. She was tormenting me and she knew it.

And that was the way it continued all day.

**Hope you like it. R&R. It makes me work harder. **

**Love, Tif.**


	9. Chapter 8

** Well dears. I should start off with an apology. I know its been far too long since I posted a chapter up. I do have a pretty good excuse. I have just graduated and returned from my senior beach trip. Yay me. I do, however, hope that this chapter makes up for the wait even thought it isn't as long as the others. I don't own anything but Wesley. Stephanie Meyer has it all. I'm really nervous about this chapter so review and let me know. I love you guys!**

**Chapter 8**

**~For that one Moment~**

**JPOV **

It was now Friday and she was still acting just as bitchy and obnoxious as she had on Monday. Don't get me wrong. I still loved her and she had her moments, but most of her time was spent trying to piss me off. And lucky for me, she had visited here every day for the last week with Wesley. Why couldn't she hang out at his damn house? Why would she make me fucking suffer like this?

I don't know why I keep asking myself those damn questions. I know exactly why she doesn't just flirt with him over at his house...Because then I wouldn't be able to see it.

And what fucking fun would it be if it wasn't hurting me?

The worst part was I couldn't refuse her anything. So everyday, when she texted me and told me she was on her way, I just waited patiently to see her. And every time she flirted with him or made some bitchy comment, I just took it...

Because in the end, there was only one thing that mattered to me anymore. I had to see her. Whether she was flirting with someone else or cussing me out, I still had to talk to her, look at her, and know that she was fine. I had to be sure she was safe and happy. It was necessary. Her happiness kept me alive. I looked over to the couch where Nessie was now staring intently in to Wesley's eyes. I finally couldn't take it anymore. All this was doing was torturing me.

The strapless hot pink dress she was wearing was just as revealing as the clothes she had wore all week. I saw Wesley admiring her and I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't watch the girl I loved more than anything flirt with somebody else. I took off out the door mumbling something inaudible. It couldn't hurt to take some time away from the oh so happy couple. I didn't expect either one of them to care enough to come after me so I had no worries. They were too caught up in each other. I found my way to the beach. It was funny, how no matter what, I always came back to this place. To our place. There were so many memories of us here. Even in the past three years, I hadn't been able to totally escape her. This place always reminded me of what we had once had.

The waves calmed my temper and the ocean, which made me and my problems seem so small, put a much needed perspective on life. The peace was short lived however, as I heard her graceful steps behind me. Why was she doing this? Had she decided to take her revenge on me for breaking her heart?

"Why are you here?" I asked coldly. "I'm really not in the mood." I was beyond being nice to her at this point. I kept my eyes averted so I wouldn't start in on my sex fantasies that had become more and more common since she started wearing all those clothes. Or should I say, since she started wearing less and less clothes. I did not need to get distracted right now.

"I just wanted to check on you," she said softly letting her guard down again. There was no bitchiness in that statement. But I was too hurt to care.

"Just go the hell on, Ness," I said angrily. This was all way to much for me. I couldn't watch her with him anymore. And I coudn't take her bipolar mood swings.

"Fine, if that's what you want," she said, her voice cracking. I could see her try to blink back the tears as she walked away. I stood up, ran after her, and pulled her back. I sighed as I realized I deserved every bit of this. I couldn't really blame her for something I had made necessary. If I had never left, then there would be no Wesley. This wouldn't even be a problem. She would be mine.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I didn't mean that."

I stared in to her eyes willing her to quit crying when unbelievably she smiled a cocky little smirk. "Yes, you did. But that's okay. I could understand if I make you a little mad."

"What are you talking about?" I asked feigning ignorance.

She stared at me suspiciously. "You seem kind of jealous of Wesley and me," she said innocently.

"Do y'all have a thing or something?" I asked just as innocently. She narrowed her eyes angrily and I could tell I was getting to her.

"This is ridiculous," she snapped."You can't just not care. There is no way." She tried to walk away huffing angrily but now that she had practically admitted that she was doing this on purpose, there was no way I was going to let her walk away from this one.

"What's your damn problem, Nessie?" I asked stepping in front of her.

"I don't have one," she said trying to walk around me.

I kept in front of her. "Why are you trying to make me jealous? Are you punishing me for walking away from you three years ago? Because I thought you cared about me more than to hurt me like that?" She didn't say anything and I continued, "Oh, well I guess people change." I snapped. I was done with this. I stopped trying to keep her here and sat down on the beach. Hopefully, she would leave me alone. The problem was I knew that wasn't what I really wanted. Suddenly, I felt her cool touch on both sides on my face as she leaned down in front of me. She didn't say anything but the blazing look in her eyes was very noticeable. I couldn't tell if she was going to yell at me or make out with me.

Personally, I was hoping for the second option.

"You're an idiot," she whispered sweetly. And then she brought her lips down to mine. All of my anger faded as her lips touched mine. I couldn't stop the urge that came from her being so close. And I didn't want to stop it. As her lips moved with mine, I pulled her closer. I had forgot she was wearing an extremely short dress so when I grabbed her to pull her closer, my hands rested on her bare skin. Which drove me all the more crazy. I ran my hands up and down her thighs and I smiled as I heard her lose her breath. Suddenly, she pulled back breathing rather heavily. I instantly missed the feeling of her. I wanted so much more of her.

She leaned back suddenly looking a little shy, a struggle for her. "I asked Wesley to flirt with me so I could make you jealous," she admitted to me blushing.

"Why?" I asked questioningly. She looked at me like I was stupid, which in this case I kind of felt stupid.

"I'm still in love with you," she said softly in her windchime voice. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. She still loved me? She was admitting that? I thought she was still mad at me for keeping secrets. I was so dreaming.

She noticed my silence and continued on, frowning slightly, as she focused, "I was wrong to say you don't love me. I knew you love me, even the day you broke up with me. There was no way someone could care as much as you did, and then just suddenly all the feelings be gone. I just didn't know how to get to you anymore. You were so secretive. Yes I knew you loved me but you have to understand. You left me and it hurt. You were the love of my life and even though we were so young, I was sure that I was going to marry you. That day you crushed all my dreams. The other night, I was just so hurt. I wanted you to feel a little bit of the pain I was feeling. You see, I missed you every day. I still love you and I always will. I know I said that I couldn't take you keeping secrets from me but that's bullshit. You shouldn't have to tell me everything right now. I can trust that one day you will be able to tell me what I need to know. For now, all I need to know...For now, all I need to hear..," she hesitated and then stared up in to my eyes, "All I need to hear is that you love me back."

**NPOV**

I waited, not even daring to breath. I couldn't help but hope that this would be the moment. I had worked my magic for a week now. But I couldn't do it anymore. I saw how it was hurting him. I saw the pain in his eyes as he watched us. I couldn't do that to him. So it was now or never. He had kissed me back rather enthusiastically, but that didn't mean anything. I needed more than a kiss. I needed to hear him say it. I needed to know if he felt the same way. He looked down at me, with those amazing eyes and pulled my body closer. I was glad it was dark because the way I was sitting on him was really not appropriate.  
He smiled at me. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that." He pressed his lips back to mine and I gasped as the rush of desire went through me. He pulled back, and looking in to my eyes, said, "I love you so much. You're all I need. Without you life has no meaning. I'm so sorry I hurt-" I cut him off as I pressed my lips forcefully to his.

I was in no mood to hear his apologies. I had all I needed. My heart pounded with joy from hearing him tell me he loved me. I kissed him passionately and it was only just a few seconds before I realized how far this was going to go. He lips left my mouth and found their way down my neck. I was instantly thankful he never wore a shirt. I pressed myself closer to his amazingly naked chest wishing somehow we could be closer. His hands found their way back down to my inner thighs and I moaned a little as he pushed aside my panties and I felt nothing but pleasure as he plunged his fingers into me. Quickly, almost too quick, he was on top of me and kissing parts of me that caused me to scream and moan his name in ways I should have been embarrased to even think about. I didn't care that we were outside or on the beach. For some reason, this just made it all the more romantic. I couldn't help but be a little more than pleased that Jake wanted me this bad. And I certainly wanted him. There was no turning back now. And besides this was our place. We had fought here. We had kissed here. We had gotten to know each other here. It only made sense that I would give myself to him here. I fumbled for his pants buttons and was too annoyed to really be embarrased that I was having problems. I wanted them off now. As soon, as I managed I ran my fingers down his chest making my way lower and lower. As soon as I touched him, and noted how large he was, I heard him groan with pleasure. I smiled knowing I was doing that to him. Jake unzipped my dress, snapped off my bra, leaving my panties alone. His lips found their way down to my exposed breasts and he sucked gently. I closed my eyes and moaned his name softly.

"Jake, please." I whispered.

He smiled cockily. "Please what my dear?" he asked.

I started to snap off at him but he pressed his lips back down to my body getting lower and lower. I moaned a little as I answered him, still a little snappy, "Ohh. Inside of me. Now!"

He chuckled in my ear after he trailed his way up my neck. His warm breath sent thrills through me. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Very," I answered immediately.

"You're not a virgin, are you?" he asked me softly.

I sighed sadly. "No, I'm not Jake. I'm sorry."

He pressed his lips back firmly to mine. "It's okay. That was my fault. And I'm not a virgin either. So we're even."

I pulled his face back to mine forcing his eyes back to mine. "All that matters is now. And I want you now," I told him honestly.

He smiled again and pressed his lips back down to me and slowly took my panties off. I was now lying on my dress in order not to lay on the sand. "So bossy," he mumbled.

And then suddenly he was inside of me. Sex was nothing new for me, but sex with Jake was nothing like the sex I had with Wesley or any other guy. Every thrust sent me further over the edge. I moaned and screamed, sincerly hoping nobody was going for a little stroll along the beach tonight. I couldn't help but gasp as his experienced hands ran all over me. He was touching me in ways he never had before, and I was feeling things so much stronger than I ever had before. He pushed harder and faster and his name became my new favorite word. We continued on like this, and I couldn't help but feel extremely content. With him inside of me, it wasn't just about the passion or the want. We were one. Jake was a part of me and this was just him showing me he loved me. It wasn't just sex. I could feel Jake's pleasure echoing through me. Our bodies moved in time with each other and I screamed as we both reached our points of ecstasy. When we were done, Jake stared down at me. I normally would have flushed if someone looked over my naked body like that but I was too distracted by the way he looked at me. It was like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

As if he had heard my thought, Jake said softly, "You're so gorgeous."

"I love you, Jacob Black," I mumbled pulling him closer to lay with me.

"I love you too, Nessie Cullen," he answered immediately.

And for that one little moment in my life, everything was perfect again.

If only it could last.

**Hope you enjoy. R&R! Pretty please people. You know they make my day. And thanks for reviewing you guys. I feel extremely lucky to have such nice readers. **

**Love, Tif.  
**


	10. Chapter 9

**-So y'all probably hate me. I am seriously sorry it's took my so long to write. I hope you accept my apologies and that y'all still want to read my story. Well this chapter is part one of prom. I don't know how many parts there are going to be. But I can promise that part two will be up within the next few days. **

**Chapter 9**

**~Love is blind and so am I apparently~**

_Prom…_

_It's every girl's dream, right? Well, my mom didn't think too highly of it but it was important to me. I wanted to look like a princess and ride in a nice car, then show up with a hot date. Prom was supposed to be the night of my dreams. Everything I could ever want and I got to share it with someone extremely important to me. I wanted it to be something I could remember for the rest of my life. And that was what led to me taking someone who meant more to me than just some prom date._

_And that was where I fucked up. I had been so blind the last two weeks not to realize. Not to have noticed the little changes. But I didn't. So I never realize how truly in love I really was. _

_And that was my biggest mistake._

A week…

It had been a week. A week since Jake and I had confessed our feelings to each other on the beach. A week since we had made love to each other. A week since the most passionate, romantic, perfect day of my life.

And it had also been a week since he had just so happened to not ask me out…

What in the hell was he thinking? You can't just have sex with a girl and tell her you love her, and then throw her out in the cold! Okay, maybe I was being a little bit overdramatic. He still texted me constantly, told me he loved every night and we saw each other every day. He even came to my house this week.

My parents had stood by and watched with total disapproval clear in their eyes when he walked in the door. (Alice, however, had run down the stairs smirking knowingly and took off looking for food to feed us all.) And of course, happy go lucky Jake wasn't faced. He just smirked happily while following me around the mansion.

Facing my parents, who might snap and kill him for the pain he caused their daughter? No biggie. He had no problem coming over.

He just didn't want to be with me.

And then I got fed up with it, of course. The fact that he was pretending we were together made it even worse. He knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't help but get pissed off that he wouldn't even man up to ask me out. We went through the motions as a couple. Why couldn't we just make it official? A part of me was hurt and a little scared that maybe he was just playing me, that he didn't really want me. The other, more confident part was pissed. Why couldn't he grow some balls? I took the first step last week. He needed to take this one. But I couldn't forget about it and as impatient as I am, I had to ask about it.

_I stood up walking out the door of his house quickly. I couldn't take this anymore. I didn't want to sit here and have everyone treat us as a couple. I couldn't take anymore of Jake's hand holding and the moments that were supposed to be shared together. We weren't together. We couldn't have those moments._

"_Nessie, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly as he followed me out the door to my car. _

_I grabbed my keys completely ignoring him. If I didn't leave now, I would just blow up at him. And as pissed as I was, I still wasn't ready for this to be over. I couldn't push him out of my life now. I just got him back._

_Before I could get in the car, however, he stopped me. _

"_Please, just talk to me. I can't fix it if you won't tell me what I did," he said softly trying to console me into talking. _

_And that was when I snapped. "It's not what you did, you moron. It's what you didn't do," I screamed at him snatching back._

_His eyes widened in confusion and then finally a knowing look crossed his face. "Nessie, just wait a bit. We already act like we're together. Give it time," he said with a guarded expression that hinted the conversation was over. _

_Well, too fucking bad. I was never any good at taking hints. "I gave it time," I said as coldly as I could manage. "I gave it three fucking years. And if you needed any more time than that, then you should have mentioned it before you fucked me." _

_He flinched and the expression of hurt that I hated to see on his sunny face found its way through. "I just need you to trust me. You said you would. I understand how you feel and if you regret it, then I wish I could take it back just for you. I know I've hurt you in the past and I've done things that have caused you to doubt me, but just wait a little bit more. Trust me."_

_My resolve faltered as I heard the sincerity behind his every word. I wanted to trust him and it wasn't like I didn't. It was just that I couldn't help but be terrified that I wouldn't be enough to hold him here and then he would be gone. _

_Suddenly, a tear rolled down my cheek. "This isn't because you don't want me right. You're not going to leave again, are you?" I asked with my voice shaking giving away how very y scared I really was of losing him. _

_His eyes grew big again as he pulled me closer. "Nessie," he exclaimed. "When are you going to understand that you are all I will ever want? I left once, but I realized my mistake. I will never leave you again."_

_I looked up at my own personal dream. He would always be what I wanted. "You promise?"_

"_Of course," he said bringing his lips to meet mine._

"_Then, will you please explain because I'm drawing a blank here. Why can't we be together?"_

_He looked away trying to hide his embarrassment. "You'll think it's stupid but it's important to me."_

"_Well, then I won't think it's stupid," I answered simply._

"_I can't say…" he said turning away._

"_You can't say anything, why you lied or why you left. You better tell me the damn truth this time or I'm gone. I can't take everything being a fucking secret."_

_He looked at me as I snatched away from him and I had barely turned around when he blurted out, "You're going to prom with him. It would be different if you were just going with some guy but I've seen the way he looks at you. And I know that you use to love him. Those feelings don't just go away because I came back. I don't want to be together until after prom. I need you to be sure that I'm what you want."_

"_He only pretended to flirt with me so I could get you back. And we're over. We were over before you came back. I want you," I said trying to get him to see the truth._

"_He wasn't pretending. You're all he sees."_

"_That's…" I started to protest but he cut me off. _

"_Please, just give me until after prom. I know Wesley is important to you and I can't bear to watch my girlfriend with him. I can't take that. Please?" he begged._

"_I'll wait until after prom," I agreed, "but it won't change anything," I finished. _

That had been only a few days ago and still nothing had happened so here I was standing in a prom dress, boyfriend-less, waiting on my best friend to get here.

I stared at myself in the full length mirror Alice had provided. She had only left a few minutes ago once she was finally done with her masterpiece, and had only been distracted because for some reason she had to decorate the stairs I was going to be making my grand appearance on.

My hair was beautiful. The curls were pulled back with elegant little pins and the rest of my bronze ringlets were left to fall beautifully down my back. As with the dress, the color was perfect. The Mediterranean color looked beautiful against my pale skin. And of course, Wesley would look great in the matching vest Alice had got him. The dress itself was strapless and fit tightly against my form, showing off my cleavage and all my curves. And then it flowed out with a beautiful train that would make any princess jealous. I only wore a simple choker of diamonds and matching earrings but I was a little worried they probably cost more than the dress. The locket, my parents had given me when I was only two, was tucked away safely in my jewelry box for the first and probably last time in my life.

Downstairs I heard the doorbell ring, and I suddenly found myself feeling extremely nervous. I knew it was only my best friend at the door but for some reason it mattered to me that I looked perfect for him. I stared at my reflection hoping that maybe he would mistake me for the beautiful princess in the mirror but terrified that he wouldn't even notice.

I heard Alice call my name loudly. I was supposed to count to thirty after the doorbell rang but I had been too lost in my worrying. Finally I sighed and drawing all my courage made my way down to the main staircase.

As soon as I saw him, all thoughts of Jake and my family, left my mind. I knew somewhere in me that it was wrong, that this was my best friend, not the love of my life. But for some reason my mind and my heart were definitely not cooperating. He was wearing a traditional black tux but the blue vest and silver tie set it off perfectly, including his own gorgeous red hair. He looked like a Greek God standing there waiting for me. As I met his perfect brown eyes, I found myself blushing. He was staring at me in a way I couldn't place. A way I was sure I had seen before. I heard the sound of my mom snapping photos and since all the family had came down for lead-out, all the murmurs of approval coming from them but the only thing I could focus on was the way that look was making me feel.

As I reached the final step and took his hand, I couldn't help but feel content and totally mesmerized. I stared up at him and he smiled down at me.

"You have no idea how beautiful you look," he said sincerely. I heard Emmett chuckle, a few awes from the girls, and my dad's quiet murmur of approval at his choice of words.

"You look nice too," I said shyly knowing I was blushing full force. Emmett laughed harder and then cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. I turned but I noticed that Wesley was still looking attentively at me. I also noticed that I wasn't the only one who noticed. Alice was staring at the look on his face and our intertwined hands with a look of complete terror as if she had just been told her entire wardrobe was to be set on fire.

I pushed the worry aside as Emmett opened his mouth to make one of his comments. "So, Wesley…I guess you'll really be a part of the family after tonight."

For once, I had no idea where he was going with this and apparently Wesley didn't either. My father however, growled angrily as if he knew exactly what was going on in Emmett's mind.

Wesley took the bait. "What do you mean, Emmett?" he asked finally tearing his eyes away from me.

"Well its prom night and we all know what teenagers do after these things. And after you get her pregnant, Edward's going to expect you to marry her right away," he said cheerfully.

My father's face turned a nasty shade of red and even I was angry. As Jasper grabbed a hold of my dad to hold him back, I turned to Emmett. "If you get me grounded with all that ridiculous talk, I swear I will make your existence as miserable as possible."

"Oh, really?" he mocked. "How's that?"

"Aunt Rosie?" I called loudly.

Emmett's eyes widened in terror. "You wouldn't."

I smirked evilly and my dad smiled with me. "Oh, I promise you I would."

Emmett turned away mumbling something that sounded like "spoil sport."

I laughed and then said, "Well, we are leaving."

"Hold on," my dad said as I groaned. "Wesley, what will you two be doing tonight?"

"Well Mr. Cullen," Wesley began in a perfectly respectful tone, "We are going to go out to eat, then head to lead-out. Then it will be time for prom and afterwards is up to her. But I can promise you it will be nothing that will be hurt her."

I had to appreciate his honestly. He hadn't said we wouldn't do the bad things. He had just promised and seemed to mean it, that he wouldn't let anything hurt me. I smiled at the protectiveness I heard behind those words.

My dad also smiled softly knowing exactly what I had just realized.

My mom spoke up, "Take care of her, and please call us Bella and Edward. We do look at you as family." She shot a glare at Uncle Emmett.

He didn't take the hint though and chose that moment to speak up, "Tomorrow you can just start calling them mom and dad," he said in between chuckles.

I sighed loudly and turned leaving them all standing bickering. Emmett would be Emmett. Wesley led me down the stairs still staring at me and we made it to the driveway. I stopped short as soon as I saw the car that was waiting for us.

"The car…so pretty..How?" I managed out.

He smiled at my lack of words and then looked back at the black bugatti that was sitting in my yard. "Your parents thought it would be a nice car for you to ride in to prom."

"I bet they let you keep it." I told him truthfully as he opened the door for me. My whole family had more than enough cars for all of us and I knew how my parents felt about Wesley. They saw him as a part of the family and they had no problem spending money on him.

"I wish I could saw that I would refuse because it's just too much but I can't help but want this car," he said as he stepped in the car with me.

"In this family, you just have to understand money is just a part of it. They don't mind spending it."

He sighed. "You grew up way different than me."

"I know," I said simply but I knew there was a trace of longing behind my simple words. I wished I had grown up like him, sometimes. Money always complicated things and it was always hard to find people who didn't want to use you for it. I had everything but I didn't want it. I wanted to be loved for me, not what I own.

Wesley looked over at me as we made our way up the drive carefully. "You really do look gorgeous tonight and you don't need money for that. I still would have stared at you if you would have walked down in a bath towel," he said softly.

His words sent a pounding through my heart and made me long to reach out and hold his hand, but this time for a different meaning. I tried to joke to hide my desire, "Well, of course you would have stared but I don't think my dad would be happy about me being half naked."

He smiled acknowledging my refusal to listen to his compliment.

"So where are we going?" I finally asked. "I'm sure my parents put a full tank of gas in the car so where will it be? New York? Mexico?" I joked.

He turned and looked at me nervously. "I actually had something a little more close to home in mind and a little more personal."

I looked over at him in confusion but nodded anyways. "I'll be happy wherever we are." I blushed at how much that was true. I had thrown Wesley to the side when Jake had came back into my life but that didn't make the feelings I had for him go away like I thought it had. Wesley was still important to me.

After a few minutes of driving, we pulled up at the football field. Wesley didn't say anything, but the nervousness made me want to put him at ease, so when he opened my door, I grabbed his hand.

He smiled down at me and pulled down the stairs towards the field. When we reached the bottom, I stopped and gasped audibly. Sitting on the fifty yard line was a table with roses and candlelight.

I turned back to him with tears in my eyes, a response to the emotion that was rushing through me. He blushed and said quietly, "If you would rather go out somewhere fancy, we can get back in the car. I just wanted this to mean something to you and I thought here where I…That maybe that would be important to you than some place you can't pronounce the menu."

I knew what he meant. This had been where he had first told me he loved me. This place meant just as much to me as La Push. This was where Wesley and I had run with our problems. This was our place.

"It's perfect," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed in content.

"Thank you. I can't believe I have such a good friend," I said trying to put back up the boundaries. Wesley didn't love me. We were just friends. He had stopped loving me when I had screwed it up. I hadn't been able to give him anything back. He would never want me. And that shouldn't matter because I love Jake more than anything.

He stared down at me looking at me the same way he had been since I walked down the stairs, and I suddenly wondered if maybe he still felt something for me.

As I followed him holding his hand as he led his way to the table, I realized I was going to have to start convincing my heart that I didn't love Wesley because he was definitely pulling at the strings. All loving Wesley would do would get me hurt, ruin our friendship, and make me lose Jake. It wasn't worth it. It was not worth it. It shouldn't be worth it. And that would mean Jake was right, that just because I loved him, doesn't mean I don't still love Wesley.

I had said prom would change nothing and I had been crazy…because Wesley, the one person who never left my side and who had claimed not to love me anymore, apparently still had my heart. He flashed me another perfect smile and I started repeating it to myself again.

"_Not worth it, not worth it."_

**I hope you like it. R & R. And when you do please let me know if you would like some of the next chapter in Wesley's point of view. I probably will because I really want to write from his opinion and give everyone his side of the story. But I also would love your opinion. I love you guys. **

**Love, Tif.**


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